I wanna start saying that my English is not really good so I hope you guys can understandš.
So ever since high school I was the quiet girl who would barely approach someone or start a conversation with a stranger. I hang onto the friends I had since elementary. I cared too much about what people would think about me so I always tried to stay out of social things if that makes sense.
Now Iām in college in another city and all my friends are in other places. I did make a few āfriendsā from class, but we donāt hang out outside of class. Also, I donāt really go to other places other than university so all the people i know are from there. I have always been aware of my āsocial problemā, but it is really hard for me to control my anxiousness around people that I donāt know. Honestly, even thought I know it is a problem that I need to work on, I donāt feel like it affects me that much. My career is pretty difficult and I barely have any free time to go out so I guess that is why I havenāt been seen my lack of social activities as a problem.
But these past days Iāve been noticing that my sister (who I live with) has been really cold and just weird to me, and my mom (who is at my hometown) has been kinda ignoring me and just talking to my sister in the group chat we have of the three of us. This morning my sister came to my room and bought movies tickets for us without saying barely anything, it was weird cause she donāt ask me if I wanted to go or anything really but I just agreed and didnāt think much cause she was kinda serious.
So the thing that I was afraid of just happened, my sister literally asked me āso what do you think of people whose only friend is their mother? Like they donāt have friends.ā I immediately felt sick cause I knew what was going on, my mom and my sister have been discussing about me having no friends and I guess my mom have told my sister to take me out so thatās why she bought the movie tickets.
My sister now sees me like a burden, like a person with problems who she need to take care of and my mother just pities me. I donāt know what to do cause our relationship was really close before but now suddenly I feel like I have a problem. I donāt want them to see me this way.
Now our relationship is just weird, I used to tell them everything and do all these kind of silly things around them but now I feel like they donāt really know me or they canāt accept the fact that Iām introverted.
Everytime I talk to my sister now I feel like this discomfort cause I feel inferior, she has always made fun of me having no friends and now after she asked me that I honestly feel like shit idk why. I just canāt be the old me who told them everything and do silly stuff around them.
Please someone give me some adviseš, I donāt want to lose my relationship with my family. Am I too sensitive or this isnāt that big of a problem? How do I communicate them about my feelings? Or do I just try to make more friends just for them to see that Iām normal?
1 comment
Communication is always positive. Try to tell her what you wrote here. Tell her how it makes you feel and how you would like your relationship to be.
Some additional notes: being anxious and being introverted is not the same.
Trying to overcome your social anxiety is no matter what a good idea and now may be a good time to start. Living your life for confirmation that you receive for working is not healthy and may result in burnout.