TW: SA
Sorry if this is the wrong place to talk about it.
A few months ago this wonderful sub pointed out that an experience I had was sexual assult, which was something I knew deep down but still wanted confirmation. I was drunk, and the guy was two-three decades older than me. I never said yes, but that’s because I couldn’t speak well at that point, or I would have said no thanks. That, and I was scared he was going to keep nagging or be upset. In any case, I thought I was over it. I’ve been molested twice before as a child and it only impacted me minimally (from what I can tell) so I thought this would be the same. Looks like it isn’t. I was okay for a while, but due to me spending more time inside of the house, I wasn’t able to distract myself anymore (I think) and now I feel disgusted. I’ll still have sex with my unofficial boyfriend (long story) but anything else just disgusts me. I’ve been ignoring men I’ve slept with a few times and I’ve stopped looking around. I want to be more active but it’s just so ew for me now. I want my libido back and I want to process this but I don’t know how. This is mostly a vent I suppose, but if you have any advice I’d greatly appreciate it. Thank you.
3 comments
How recent was this? I would reach out to law enforcement. Even if you do not press charges, filing a report can open up state assistance with therapy.
I a survivor from childhood sexual and adult sexual assult who is nervous about sex, too. I’m 33.
The road to healing is a long one.
I wouldn’t say it is your libido hurting, but you yourself hurting. A therapist that clicks with you is hard to find, especially for us with pain from a young age while our brains were still developing. I haven’t found a therapist that clicks with me yet… but I hear that therapy is great.
Time heals
Take some time away from sex
Maybe get some therapy
And find someone to go kick that guys ass for what he did to you
Ml. LL.M