Hi my wife says that we just have to have sex more often. It’s okay even if she doesn’t orgasm a few times. She says that
The mere act of us having sex is romantic and itself satisfying.
Is this true?

22 comments

  1. Some people are more focussed on orgasms, others are less focussed on orgasms.

    Your wife appears to be…at least not fully focused on orgasms.

    It sounds like she is willing to trade an orgasm or two for…well, you didn’t say exactly what it is she thinks she gets if she trades an orgasm or two. Apparently he is very fond of what she tries to trade them for?

  2. Everyone is different, but I think there is some truth to that. Orgasms are nice, but it’s probably more healthy to look at them as a bonus rather than the goal. If that’s the goal and it doesn’t happen for whatever reason (sensitivity/hydration/sleep/cant focus) that can lead to disappointment.

    If just being with/inside/connecting with one another is the goal- that’s a pretty low bar to success and anything else is a cherry on top. Ask her if she wants an orgasm. It doesn’t have to be penetration my dude, if that act is completed you have a number of tools to finish the job (if she wants that).

  3. there is so much focus on orgasms. They are not the end result for everyone. even some males dont need to orgasm every time. Sex CAN be satisfying if both partners are present and authentic.

    There is a lot of construct about making orgasms the super end goal.. Well its not. Sure, it can be amazing and thrilling, but some practices feel like if you don’t orgasm, but FEEL satisfied, is wonderful too

  4. Some women are like this. I’m very much not and would feel cheated and used if I didn’t get to get off. But I don’t see the merit in assuming that she’s lying.

  5. Yup.

    Some women can cum every time. Some can’t. And some want sex even if they can’t cum. It still feels good physically and emotionally.

    But if YOU don’t want to have sex more often, you dont HAVE to.

  6. Yes. Sex is more than orgasms. But if you wan to give her one forcus on the A spot and G spot

  7. Well if that’s what SHE says and she’s the one you’re sleeping with, other women’s need shouldn’t matter. She communicated what she’s okay with so she must be okay with it.

  8. Your wife is telling you the truth but she should be cumming at least once mlst of the time you guys have sex. If shes not there are 2 routes to go. You learning techniques that get the job done or participating in kinks that really turn her on.

  9. YES it’s true, believe what your wife is saying to you. Sex is a fun act connection it’s not all about the orgasm

  10. I’m a dude and I don’t expect to orgasm every time. I’d rather have sex for an hour and never orgasm than come in five minutes and have things end.

    Everyone is different.

  13. Depends on the woman and the circumstances. If I’m with a committed partner, then no, I don’t.

  14. Personally, I like to have an orgasm every time, but that doesn’t mean she is lying. Maybe she enjoys just the act of it itself. I would feel let down/used if I didn’t finish, but my husband has conditioned me to be that way as he refuses to finish until I do.

  15. why would she lie ?
    I personally think an orgasm isn’t the goal but simply a bonus

  16. I don’t orgasm because of medication I’m on but I very much enjoy having sex with my husband. For me it’s not just about the orgasm it’s the intimacy and knowing I’m pleasing my husband.

  18. I think it depends on the type of sex you’re having! Sometimes you crave intimacy and sometimes you crave the sweet spot!

    If she’s communicated she’s happy to not always reach an orgasm then I guess go ahead! I think the difficulty is making sure you don’t run away with that and occasionally make sure it’s all about her.

  19. Eventhough I’m someone who orgasms really easily, sometimes I will have sex eventhough I know I won’t be able to cum. I never do it solo on those occasions but I can totally have sex with a partner without the expectation of an orgasm (or rather the expectation of *not* having one) either because I want them to feel good, I know they need to have sex or because yes, it can be a romantic/intimate experience.

  20. Yes I expect to have an orgasm every time. I also think that should always be a man’s goal. It’s actually easier than you think, even if you’re just doing a quickie. That’s when you incorporate toys if your wife is okay with that. A toy vibrating on my clit while he’s pounding from the back or side or whatever pushes me over the edge fast.

  22. I’ve never had an orgasm (ever, as in not even on my own) and that’s a me issue. I still absolutely love sex and enjoy it immensely. Trust what she says.

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