My (28F) fiancé (32M) got some blood panels back a couple days ago which suggested his sugars were a bit high. He then decided to cut carbs/sugars per his doctors recommendation. He was strict the first day, then the second day we went to a party and he said he wanted to enjoy himself. The third day (today), he was out of the house and I sent him a pic of the other half of my sandwich which was filled with meat and had two skinny slices of bread. I suggested he could eat it with just one piece of bread or put it in a low carb wrap etc. Later when he got home I mentioned it again and he seemed to get really triggered, saying I wasn’t supporting his diet and saying I must think it’s stupid that he’s trying to do this. I’m not sure if he’s just frustrated that he can’t enjoy the sandwich the way he would like? But he said he needed to take a walk and then started texting me mean things like “why the f*** would you send me a picture of this sandwich? What’s wrong with you?” He doesn’t usually say mean things like this and I’m so confused. I expressed that I didn’t like him talking to me that way and said I needed space. I just don’t know where to go from here. Help
TLDR I think my fiancé is hangry and is taking it out on me way too heavy
7 comments
Sounds like you need to stay out of his relationship with food.
Yeah, you sound over-bearing and condescending, let the guy be
But his argument is not that I’m doing too much… he’s arguing that I’m not supporting him/thinks I’m not taking his diet seriously
He decides to do low carb for his health… and you sent him a picture of a sandwich. Yeah, I wouldn’t be happy about that either. Let the man handle his own diet. I’m pretty sure he can figure out low carb options on his own. If he asks for your help or advice, great. If not, assume he’s an adult and can handle it on his own.
So y’all think that on 2/3 days of a diet change that if your WIFE sends you a picture of a sandwich, AND talks about how to customize it for her husband to eat, it means
1. She’s not taking his diet and lifestyle changes seriously
2. It’s okay to be mean and swear at her
He literally just can’t eat the bread. There is nothing that justifies treating your spouse this way. The man’s is 32 years old ffs.
You need to ask him, when he’s less in his feelings, what his response was about. He might say, “Sorry, I’m adjusting to this diet thing, and I took it too far. I shouldn’t have talked to you that way.” If he doesn’t, you can say the same, except to him, “I know you’re adjusting to this diet thing, but you shouldn’t have talked to me that way.”
And stop sending him pictures of food he can’t eat. Ask him how he’d like you to support him in his dietary changes. Consider “do and say nothing about it” as an option.
Going low carb/low sugar is really hard. Especially when you’re used to all of those things. I definitely don’t think it’s okay for him to take his frustrations out on you, though.
If I had to make a suggestion, have a talk with him.
“Babe, I’m sorry that you didn’t feel supported when I shared ideas with you. I really don’t appreciate the way you talked to me to convey that you felt that way, though. Please don’t talk to me that way again.
I do want to support you, so I’d like to know how you prefer me to support you with your new diet?”
Take it from there.