I’m having troubles with my wife. She says she can never get horny or turned on by me unless she’s under the influence. I never turn her on and the only time I actually make her cum is when we’ve been going on for so long, that it’s just her bodies natural response, or if we use a toy.
I’m not unattractive by any means, but when we first got together I was a little more defined. I have a lot of muscle still, but I’ve lost my abs mostly and I only get time to gym 2-3 times a week instead of 7 days a week. I just bought the supplements that used to use and bought all the food to meal prep. Which is hard when her and my kid can eat sugary and tasty snacks all day. But it’s something I’m willing to do.
She says a lot of it has to do with my confidence. I’ve always felt like I had a lot of sexual confidence but lately almost every time we have sex, she complains about everything. Too fast, too slow, too hard, too soft; this hurts, that hurts. I’ll admit, it DOES take a hit on my confidence.
Anyways she like has to “gear up” in order to get herself in the mood, so we grabbed a couple drinks last night. After she got drunk she told me that what really turns her on is threesomes with another girl, watching porn together, and exhibitionist type stuff. So after she got in the mood, I asked her which one of these things she wants to pursue? We can’t pursue threesomes because of health issues. She said for me to choose, and so I chose to go not far from the house somewhere in public.
The place I chose was literally a 60 second hike up a hill to a cliff side that had a little room at the top with some trees and a clearing. But she got pissed so bad about it because she doesn’t like hiking. She said it’s not sexy to fuck on rocks and dirt. I can understand that, but she just got upset the rest of the night and said she’s not in the mood, that it was a terrible decisions. She said that I wonder why she doesn’t want to fuck anymore. And it was a disaster.
Am I wrong for taking her in nature to have sex? She doesn’t like hiking, but it’s literally less than a 60 second trek.
I’m confused, I don’t feel loved or desired. I feel like I fuck everything up all the time.
7 comments
It really sounds like you two need a sex-positive couples counselor. There’s all kinds of red flags here, starting with “she needs to be drunk asf to be in the mood.” Your dynamic isn’t healthy.
I doubt it has anything to do with your objective attractiveness.
That sounds hot as fuck. I’m sure there would have been other positions where she wouldn’t have had to lay on the ground like may be bend over some rocks instead.
Bring heavy blankies next time?
Sounds like she’s making a lot of excuses. She might just not be sexually attracted to you now. Maybe it’s temporary (due to depression, stress, or whatever these health issues are) or maybe she’s fallen out of love.
But this sounds like something a lot deeper than just being turned on.
Also, I think the point of having sex in public is the risk of getting caught or showing off. I’ve done it in a hike and it was hot, but I think the hottest stuff was in more populated areas. Did it in a department store dressing room, blowjobs in movies and in a library, parked in a car and also outside the car parked off the side of a road, even lying down in blankets at a park.
Even the bjs where she didn’t get anything turned her on for afterwards.
She kind of sounds like a jerk, and nothing will make her happy.
Sounds like you need to go to marital therapy
I’m sorry you are going through this. Yesterday, my husband and I were practically alone at the lake. I kept hoping he would pull me into the bushes or bend me over a rock!! Your partner seems to be not very nice.
First of all, my husband and I once went on a hike and had sex at the base of a waterfall. It was like 20 years ago and I still think about it! So I do think it was a sexy idea.
Sounds like she has low libido issues; I was like this when I was on SSRIs – I couldn’t feel pleasure or orgasm, had no desire at all and my husband is fit and hot. However, the reaction and what she complains about during sex sounds like there’s something deeper making her unhappy