I’m so nervous. It’s his(20M) first time and I’m (23, intersex) more “experienced”, I guess.

What the title says. Burner account because friends know my main. I saw tons of posts about losing virginity or first times but from the other perspective, not the more experienced partner’s perspective. And due to my unique situation I feel like it’s worth a shot seeing if anyone else has feedback on this.

He’s a queer man and I’m a couple years older than him. This is his first time, and I have had more experiences than him but they’ve not been great. We are long distance, and we are meeting up to be together and obviously in that course of action having sex equally soon. I am keeping details as vague as possible for this to not be traced back to me haha.

We’ve had lots of sex over video calls and such over all this time and all of it has been so loving and made me feel so adored and he says I make him feel the same which is awesome. He’s so accepting of me and so caring.

I’m just nervous. He’s never had sex before me and I get it, virginity isn’t “all that” but I want to make this special for him and I’m so scared. In a good way, but still. I’m so over the moon to finally see him, but insecurities are creeping in. I’m scared he’s not going to like my body, or he’s going to expect me to know way more than him, and that’s just not the case. We’ve talked about these things and he’s been nothing but supportive. But these insecurities haunt me. He seems to have a realistic idea of what sex might be like between us and doesn’t have some porno-style fantasy of how it’s going to play out, which is comforting.

One problem I’m dealing with is there’s no instruction manual for my anatomy and I only just learned (last night lol) how to actually get myself off properly after all this time. I didn’t realize it was supposed to feel that good and my mind is absolutely blown. I’ve never had a partner make me cum (always get myself off after the deed and even then it never felt that good) and I can say with confidence I’ve never been with someone who truly loved and accepted me for who I am like he does. So I know these experiences we have together are going to be nearly as new to me as they will be for him.

He is aware of my sexual history and is not intimidated by it, and I am respectful when referencing what I’m into and try to avoid referencing other situations and keep it in language that focuses on how I want to make him feel rather than “Once I did this and it was so hot when it happened! Look at all this sex I’ve had that you haven’t”.

He’s just nervous he’s going to mess up or embarrass himself, or cum too quickly, or not be able to. I know those are normal worries, but these things do not matter to me, I mean it matters to me how he feels about them but I couldn’t care less if we can’t get each other off or if he came in two seconds. I’m just happy to have this experience with him and I’m so excited to see where this relationship goes.

I just wish I knew exactly what to do and how to make it perfect. I want him so bad and I know he’s excited too. I know I can’t make it perfect and I’m just brooding on everything until it happens. I don’t really know what the purpose of this post is, just wondering if there are other people who have had experiences like this or have advice on how I can make him (and myself) comfortable and make this experience as sweet as possible, or questions or discussions I should be trying to have before we go into this.