I realised he is bisexual and has been going on dates with men and women. He said that his long term plan is to settle down and marry a girl and have kids. And that is the thing I cannot fathom, I am not sure if he is actually looking for long term relationship in men and expecting that it will lead to anything fruitful? I will be supportive of whatever decisions he make but I am just worried how this will affect his future relationships, and am I suppose to hide this from his future partner?
No one else in the family knows this and my brother doesn’t know that I know too. But it is tiring carrying this burden alone. I for sure would not let my parents know as I know they would be heartbroken. I am not sure if I should confide in my other brother, although I don’t think it will change anything? Or should continue to bury this? What should I do?
tl:dr brother is bisexual, what do I do?
25 comments
Your obviously consenting adult brother’s sexual preference is a tiring burden? To you?
You’re a weirdo. What you should do is stop thinking about your brother’s sex life.
So essentially you and your family are homophobic and you want advice on how to continue being homophobic? Erm….nah mate.
You do nothing- you can tell your brother that you know but do not tell anyone else. As someone who was outed it’s the worst feeling. But other than that just stay out of his relationships and there’s no use worrying about something you can’t control.
U should do: Nothing!
Because Its not your business! Let him live the life he wants! His life is his journey and he has every right to explore his own sexuality the way he wants! And in privacy! Also outing him is soooo wrong, so dont do that either!
I Dont even understand How u got this information! Did someone gossip about ur own brother towards You?
Talk to your brother and love him as he is.
Can I ask, why do you feel like knowing is a burden? I think you just need to let him live his life and if/when he’s ready to open up to you about it he will, and then you can ask him all the questions you have. But you should never out anyone against their will. Doing that will cause permanent damage to your relationship with your brother
*what do I do?*
Nothing. This is none of your business. The only reason this is a “burden” to you is because you’re choosing to interpret it as one. You would benefit from talking to a therapist about boundaries. Don’t tell your family either – if he wants to come out as bisexual or not, that’s his choice, not yours.
What do you mean “what do you do?”
You act like this somehow requires some course of action for yourself?
All you have to do is not give a fuck. Is he trying to fuck you? No?
It’s his business that he shreds with you. You shut the fuck up about it like an adult instead of making Reddit post about it. He can handle his business just fine. It’s not your responsibility to do something with this information beyond understanding that he’s still your brother
“Should I hide this from his partner?”
What’re you gonna do, pull her to the side and say “hey you know he’s bi, right?”
You might feel like it’s something to hide but I have a sneaking suspicion he’s going to tell them on his own because it’s his life and his relationships
Dude fuck off. It’s not that big of a deal stop acting like a martyr. Everyone hides things from their parents because we know they wouldnt understand. This thing is so common place it’s not even a bad thing. It’s just sexual orientation. That’s it
I don’t get what you need from this post
Nothing. You do nothing. Your brother will communicate this when and if he’s ready. It does not affect you. Just love your brother.
I’m not sure who your brother has sex with is any of anyone else’s business? I am bi and like sex with women but Iv never been interested in a relationship with a woman.
You don’t do anything else than let your brother live his life the way he wants it.
What you could do is to get a life and stop worrying about your grown-up brother’s sex/dating life.
It has nothing to do with you it’s not your business. Say cool and move on with your life
Love him
You should talk ro him. Keeping secrets is incredibly tough and often toxic, and he only way around it is to say you know he’s been seeing men while apparently planning on a future marriage and children with a woman. So see if he wants you to not talk about this,bor is he planning on being more open with your relatives, or what?
As someone who is bisexual.
Don’t tell anyone. Don’t confront him. Don’t ask. It’s not your place.
Your brothers sexuality/gender identity is none of your concern. You need to just learn to get over your clear homophobia.
You don’t have to do anything. Just be a loving supportive sibling. Don’t treat him any differently than what you were doing before. Also this isn’t your burden in the least bit. Don’t make this about you. You are not the main character in his story.
I don’t know why you think you need to hide/tell any of your brother’s partner his sexuality, it’s none of your business. Let him be.
You …don’t do anything? Just let him continue living his normal life? His sexuality literally doesn’t affect you at all. It’s up to him whether he tells his future partners, again nothing to do with you.
“my brother is bisexual, what do i do?” has to be the funniest tl;dr i’ve ever read
mind your own business
There’s nothing to do because it’s not really any of your business and he’s not hurting anyone lol…. Look the other way and go about your own business? He will say something when he wants to.
You asked 4 different threads and got the same answer every time. What exactly are you looking to get this time? Tbh your fixation on your brothers sexuality is creepy and weird. Mind your business and go touch some grass
You fuck off and leave him alone. Talk to a therapist about your obsession with his dick and where he might or might not put it. Watch incest porn if it helps distract you from thinking about his sex life.
As the old saying goes, dear – not everything is about you. I appreciate your concern for your brother, but this is his story to tell. At 32, he is probably more comfortable with this than you are and, for whatever reasons, has chosen not to share it – even with you.
This is no burden – it’s just more information about someone you love. And, if you do love him and are concerned for his well being, you will give him the space he needs to deal with all of this as he sees fit. That includes never coming out to anyone and keeping his own counsel.
Just be a good sister. Respect his privacy and keep his confidence.
I can tell you you brother probably doesn’t even think about this bisexuality or the “burden” of it. He’s probably living his life without a care in the world while you’re in the corner overthinking his secret that probably not even a secret to him. I’m bisexual, in a healthy relationship with my Boyfriend. He know I’ve dated girls. My parents didn’t know till way later and I didn’t even tell them. I didn’t even think about it.
I genuinely think you’re just after attention