We are in a long distance relationship. He goes to university and away from both his family and me. He was very depressed because he felt lonely there. But now he is with his family and he spends his time with them or himself. I’m not thinking that he should spend his time with me all the time but this week we didn’t have a conversation except gm or gn texts and insta posts+ he was distant for a week. Yesterday he messaged me “I miss you so much can we talk if you have time” and he told me that he is working on himself so he doesn’t have much time for me (at the end of the conversation I told him “I would be so happy if we talk time to time like this and if you send photos”). I know how much he went through so I understand him and dont complain to him. But at the same time I think “he has time for his family but not to text/call me? Even a few minutes?” Then I feel guilty cause he’s trying to do something for himself for once(at normal times he does what is good for his loved ones even if its bad for him). IDK what to feel and think. I’m trying to keep myself calm but he doesn’t do the little things like calling me babe/love or compliment me etc when we talk. Simply he doesn’t saying/doing things that shows he loves me. I know he does love me but I want/need to see it at the same time.
I’m doing everything I can to support him and i dont want him to feel guilty for thinking himself or making it hard for him.
I feel selfish when I think under his perspective but I think I deserve to have his time and see Im loved I want to support him and make it easier for him (Sorry if i had any mistakes English is not my first language)
TL;DR : He was depressed because he was away from his family. Now he is working on himself and spending time with his family but I feel ignored cause we hardly ever spoke for 2 weeks. (LDR)
2 comments
If you know he loves you like you said, but you’re also not feeling the love rn, give him space to heal and think about everything without trying to smother him. It sounds hard, but smothering and pushing for too much can just push him completely away.
Hey I know this isn’t advice but sometimes it helps to know you’re not alone. Basically, I’m going through something similar except I was just the one that left for college and came back and now he’s acting how yours has been. It’s the same with only the gm/gn texts and the occasional convo that doesn’t last long cuz he seems to be busy. And I feel bad because we’ve talked about this and he always says he’s stressed and going through stuff and I know he’s got mental health issues and has a hard living situation but at the same time I feel neglected almost. I’m also frustrated because I feel like he couldn’t really care what happens to me yet he says he loves me. Idk what to do. I understand his mental health issues because I have similar and just like you, I’ve been trying to help him as best as I can and be there for him but it is like he has shut down from connecting with me like he used to you know?