So there was this girl (25F) I was talking to for a few weeks and we decided to meet at her place.
It was nice and fun at first, she initiated everything. But as soon as I took off my pants, my erection died and I couldnt get it erect no matter what I did. I think she is also new to sex because she was also embarrassed and had no idea what to say.
Then she said “let’s just cuddle a bit”, we did it. My dick became somewhat hard but as soon as I took off my pants it became soft again. I left after that.
And guess what? As soon as I got home I was easily rock hard again. It seems like my dick doesn’t want to get hard in front of others.
I am seriously feeling down after this incident, specially because it was my first time so I was pretty hyped. But I am feeling even worse for the girl for some reason. She arranged all these things just to see a soft dick.
6 comments
Performance anxiety. It happens. Try gaining more comfort around her and this should tail off next time.
Anxiety. It’s ok. It’s normal. Listen to your heart and more importantly, talk to her. If you can talk to her about something like this, that’s a healthy relationship step right there.
Do talk about STDs/STIs, limits, insecurities, contraception, and personal thoughts on the potential pregnancy.
Also if you two aren’t ready for sex yet, I suggest mutual masturbation. You two can take your time and share, at your own pace. Don’t set goals or expectations, just share and learn. No one has to orgasm or do it in a specific way, be natural.
Wow, that would be hard (pun not intended), but probably not unexpected or unreasonable.
I guess when there is so much pressure (whether from yourself or the other person) that you’re going to do the deed – it can be off putting.
Be kind to yourself. The first time is generally never what you expect. And all the effort for a “soft dick” – nah mate, all that effort to hang out and spend time with you. Take the focus of the stiff dick, just hang out with her. Cuddling, foreplay – all that stuff is important too.
Good luck, don’t focus on it.
It happens even if its not your first time and yes it sucks. Be kind to yourself and be really kind to her. Spend more time with her, listen to her feelings, share how you feel, cuddle, and let things just happen naturally.
I’ve had 2 male partners who couldn’t get hard the first time we were together and both succeeded the second time (and every time after). It’s a totally normal effect of nerves and I never took it personally. Try taking it a bit slower and exploring each other’s bodies a bit more when you see each other again
Normal. Happens to most people..just communicate openly and honestly 🙂