Any tips on making the person you are talking to find you more interesting?

9 comments

1. Live an interesting life.

2. Don’t force it. Just continue pursuing hobbies that genuinely interest you. That way when they ask about your hobbies and interest, you can talk about them passionately. THAT is what keeps people interested.

3. Try to figure out what’s interesting about them.

   The huge mistake people who struggle with conversation have is assuming THEY have to improve to make people interested. They don’t. They just have to shift their focus from thinking “I need to have something about me this person will like” to “I want to find out what makes this person interesting and unique.”

   The former is selfish, and people don’t like talking to selfish people. The latter flatters your conversation partner, which automatically makes you way more interesting.

   This concept borrows from a simple psychology principle – we like people who like us. How do we know people like us? We express interest in their lives. Give it a shot. It works like magic.

4. A few months back I met someone on a dating app and we became really good friends within a few weeks. Later, I asked her about what she thinks of me. What she told was “You have always listened to me with patience and I could share anything with you comfortably”. We ended the friendship for a different reason (that’s another story). But Yeah, I think I’m a good listener and having genuine interest in others will make you look beautiful.

5. You’re already interesting enough, you just gotta speak your mind. Let that shit out and thus make you interesting.

6. Ask them about themselves. People always think you’re a brilliant conversationalist when the subject is them!

7. Talk about what you’re passionate about, passionately. They don’t have to find interest in it, but they might enjoy learning a bit about what you enjoy, and they might be happy for you. I’m a massive gaming and book nerd, but I work in medicine. Almost none of my coworkers have common interests with me, but I really try to show what I burn for and am passionate about, and I can talk about it well enough to make it interesting. Obviously, I give back by asking about and hearing about their interests, it’s not like I’m going on a 10 minute Legend of Zelda monologue without pause. And I usually don’t talk about it unprompted.

8. Mystery and aloof
   Keep them wanting more

9. Speaking from personal experience so take it as a grain of salt, my goal is the opposite where I make an effort to find something interesting about the person I am speaking to, ask questions, practice active listening. The response is always great and eventually it will lead to talking about yourself and common interests.