Is it normal for men in their 30s to only last 10 mins? Is there a way to help a man last longer?

38 comments

  1. 10min is probably pretty normal all around the board. My best suggestion is switch it up during sex, my method for extended is just changing pace, positions, rythm, etc, more.

  3. Don’t pay so much attention on the duration of time, and moreso on whether you’re both enjoying yourself. If it’s 10 minutes or 1 hour, the difference doesn’t matter as long as you’re both having a good time.

  6. I’ve been on both sides, sprinter (2 mins) and long lasting (40 mins no problem). For me the more i had sex (frequency) the longer i lasted.

  7. 1. Improve/extend your foreplay.
    2. Change your sex positions (=short pauses).
    3. Replace penetration with another form of stimulation (fingers, tongue, toys). Positions can be changed here as well.

  8. >A 2005 multinational studyTrusted Source of heterosexual couples that defined sex as penile-vaginal intercourse asked participants to time sex from penetration through to male ejaculation.
    Within their very limited parameters, the team found that reports ranged from 33 seconds to 44 minutes, with the average session lasting **5.4 minutes.**
    Other researchers have attempted to ascertain a “normal” duration by asking people who diagnose and treat sexual disorders.
    A 2008 studyTrusted Source asked sex therapists in the United States and Canada to estimate the average duration of sex within different categories.
    The therapists responded that sex:
    lasting under 3 minutes warrants clinical concern
    lasting 3–7 minutes is “adequate”
    **lasting 7–13 minutes is “desirable”**
    lasting 10–30 minutes is “too long”

    ​

    [https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/how-long-does-sex-last#how-long-is-average](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/how-long-does-sex-last#how-long-is-average)

  9. Ride him for a while. Lots of guys find it a bit difficult to get off in that position, so you can get as many orgasms as you like

  10. You have options rather than normal penetrative sex. Use hands, use mouths, use toys, etc. I don’t think it’s a fair expectation for him to “last longer” if you’re just lying there and not putting in effort.

  11. Have sex more often, as practice makes perfect!

    Make sure you’re both in shape.

    Change positions. Different angles hit different and can help both men and women last longer.

  12. The key is to not go jackhammer mode. Go fast and when you are about to come just slow down and then go fast again when you are ready.

  14. Don’t know. I can last as long as I want. You just alter speed and intensity to make sure you don’t finish if you want to continue.

  16. More than 10 minutes? Am I the only woman that is completely happy and satisfied with like 5-10? Perfectly perfect.

  18. Perhaps ask him to start with oral or with his fingers, and then switch to straight penetration. Also, KY makes a product that helps men last longer.

  19. As a fellow nempho i am here to tell you, you will always want more 😂 my husband often jokes I’m gonna be the death of him. Foreplay lasts a long time, he gets me off multiple times, I often get him off during foreplay too which often can help the sex last longer.

  20. After he gets off wait 10 minutes and start sucking then he is good for another round when he is full staff.
    I have a feeling you are not just needy but also selfish.

  21. As a natural 2 pump chump the trick for me is to change positions frequently and change my thrusting pace. When those 2 things change it buys you a couple more minutes. Also condoms really slow it down as well.

  22. “Only 10 minutes”? Look at Mr. All Night Long over here.

    I’m a man in my 40s, and sessions can be a few minutes (4-5) or extended romps (30+ mins). With the former, it’s usually a dedicated quickie where the appeal is more about spontaneity. With the latter, the best thing is foreplay.

    I focus on my partner to make sure she gets there before we go PIV. Depending on how the session is going, I may stop & start to keep from finishing too quickly. I’m blessed with fingers, a tongue, and toys.

    With all that being said, 10 min of PIV is pretty standard. Don’t worry about that length of time, focus on your partner’s satisfaction.

  26. The average sex session is only like 5 mins, maybe 5-10 mins so it’s right on the money for textbook sex.
    Maybe start working on getting yourself there faster?
    Do you want a lot of porn? Your post would suggest so. I would recommend you stop watching it.

  27. Most likely he can last longer by getting into better physical shape. It does not work for all, but for many conditioning does matter for some reason that I don’t really understand.

  28. Honestly, 10 minutes is fair game. You can definitely make yourself last longer by changing it up though. He just has to make the effort to focus on doing other “things” to pleasure his SO and simultaneously give himself a break while doing those to reset his timer.

    The thinking of different thoughts 100000% does not work. Do not randomly think of naked old people during sex or whatever tf you can come up with because there is no worse feeling that cumming onto your SO’s back with a vivid image of naked Betty White embedded into your brain.

  29. Just ask them for head after, I usually last like 7 minutes of continued thrusts. But I just offer head after and my performance time matters not.

  30. Woman here. I’ve had multiple partners through my life, and 10 minutes for active sex seems to be about average. However, it also depends on age, stamina, and whether or not the person cares for you. I’ve had everything between 2 minutes to about 45 minutes for active sex (not including foreplay).

    Although, considering what I’ve read from you, it sounds like either:

    A. He just isn’t used to it anymore because it’s been a long time since you’ve been intimate

    Or

    B. You’re boring in bed, and he’s doing what he has to do because he loves you.

    Sex isn’t just about you, it’s about him, too. You’re gonna need to talk to him about this instead of us randos Reddit.

  32. Hold on hold on

    Here’s the science:

    There are 2 types of PE, chronic and acute

    Chronic is extra sensitive (condoms help)
    Acute is usually psychological

    I would say, be nice and gentle about it. He knows it’s a problem

    If you get upset, chances are, he’ll make sex more of a chore than a fun experience (been there and it’s the literal worst feeling ever. Wanting so badly to please your woman but not being able to)

  33. Whiskey or a couple beers. Alcohol dulls the senses a bit and will help them last longer. Although, too much and they might not get hard.

  34. Sex Workers gauge sex on average between 7-10 minutes. But that’s because some men last 45 minutes. Hahah. Isn’t that hilarious. That means there are “I was putting on the condom” ejaculateurs.

  35. Most effective solution I have found is frequency.
    If I have sex, then 12 hour later go again I can go for 1h.
    If I wait 3 days in between it is less than 10 mins.
    The longer it builds up, the quicker it comes out.

  36. It depends on a lot of things. How active are you during sex/do you get on top or is he always in charge? What does he do for work? The days I’m not tired from work and am extra horny and just want to FUCK, I could go for 30-45. But 90% of the time I’m exhausted from working in the heat and the wife’s a pillow princess so I’m horny, just not in the mood to do literally everything, I’ll think of stuff to cum quicker. SN: I love my wife and insane amount and she’s ridiculously sexy. Just most days not in the mood to put in extra work when I’m already exhausted and then have to get up at 430am

  37. Deep breathing helps.

    Cardio would probably help. Getting in better shape in general, I think.

  38. Lol hate to break it to you, but 10 minutes is on the higher end. But really there’s lots of components to how long a man can last in bed. Frequency of sex, overall fitness level, condom vs. no condom, etc.

    And some times it’s just hard to control. There’s times I’ll have sex with my wife and it feels like I can bust in 20 seconds. Other times it feels like I could last for 30 minutes. But I usually try to slow things down and reset if it’s happening too quickly.

    Also use toys in the bedroom. So many men look at it as emasculating or something, but a vibrator in the bedroom can be a godsend for a man’s headspace and worrying about busting too quickly. It takes a lot of pressure off when you’re stimulating a woman in two ways.

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