I (24 F) started talking to this guy recently from Hinge. He (26 M) seems super chill, we have a lot in common and there’s also a lot of things that I feel I could learn from him. My only issue is he keeps mentioning other women in our conversations, for example we found out that we both went to high school in the same town and when I mentioned what high school I went to and he told me that his ex went there ( unnecessary but no big deal). Yesterday, We had a conversation where I talked about wanting to try Indian food, he then proceeded to tell me how one of his exes was Indian and he loved Indian food. Today we’re talking about cool food spots and I told him about this oat milk Ice cream shop that just opened in New York and he proceeds to tell me how he heard about this place when he went on a date with some girl. In the past I haven’t always been good at recognizing red flags often times I’d ignore things that bothered me in hopes of just being in a relationship if I really liked the guy . On the flip side I’m notorious in my friend group for being “too picky” (honestly I think it’s because I’ve had so many bad experiences). Over the past 2 years I’ve taken a break from dating, gone to therapy and have really just learned to love myself. I’ve gotten really good at seeing red flags and walking away but with this guy I can’t tell if it’s a red flag or not. It bothers me that he keeps bringing up other women randomly throughout our convos but I’m not sure if that’s a sign to stop talking to him. What would you do in my situation? I need to figure this out before going on a date with this guy.

3 comments
  1. Yeah, I wouldn’t want someone who kept relaying things to former people of the opposite gender, either lmao

  2. Red flag, even if it’s not it bugs you – which will just be 10x more annoying if you date him. That’s just basic knowledge. Don’t try and change him it’s not worth the effort. Just accept he bugs you when he does that and he’s not going to change fast. It doesn’t make you a picky or bad person.

    Saves you time and arguments when he does it 5 months into the relationship and you’re tired of hearing about the ex’s. Look at the bigger picture. Don’t change him, but don’t go for him.

  3. I’ve been guilty of this. I totally didn’t even realize I was giving so many unnecessary details with my randomness. Hopefully this dude’s just doing the same and he doesn’t have feelings for any of these women. Either way, best of luck to you two.

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