At times I feel like I’m no longer in love with my husband… of course the attraction is always still there but emotionally at times I’m numb. I don’t want affection I don’t want conversation or intimacy or anything. I want to be left alone. I’ll tell him I love him but even as the words leave my mouth idk if they are true. But the coincidence is that when I feel this way most of the time I’m not content with anything in my life so that’s where the confusion comes in. Other times I’m on top of the world with him. I love him like I did when we first met. And ik that every relationship comes in phases. Sometimes you’ll be more into them than other times but with me it’s EXTREME highs and lows. Like one day I’ll be over the moon in love and the very next I’m 100% ready for divorce. Someone pls help!!
4 comments
Just having weekly or biweekly guidance from a therapist that specializes in BPD can come in clutch here.
I am sorry that you are going through this.
While I believe there must be some kind of initial attraction – a spark if you will, love is, at the end of the day, a choice.
There is no Disney wand that is going to sprinkle fairies dust over you. Sure, both parties have a role, you should never stop dating, and neither should ever stop pursuing. Nonetheless, barring infidelity, physical or emotional abuse – of any kind, you must “choose” to stay in love.
With that, I think it might be helpful to determine what is triggering your lows. To do so, you might need professional help.
My Bipolar effects me like this. Definitely see a Psychiatrist.
I feel the same. Therapy is helping me balance out the extreme highs and lows. Some days when it’s really low and I almost feel disgust with my partner I tell myself that I can’t believe everything my brain is telling me and I know that I love him. He is good to me. I have a photo album on my phone with nice photos of trips and anniversaries we had together which I scroll through when I feel really low about him. It sometimes helps bring back the positive emotions. Other times I just have to wait it out and remember that it’s my choice to love him. I explained to him before that my love comes and goes in waves and it has nothing to do with him when I feel distant but it is just my mental health. He understands and is supportive because he still knows that I choose him at the end of the day. He gives me the space when I need it and the closeness when I need it. Talking to a professional and your partner can help.