My boyfriend is clueless and I wonder if it’s worth waiting for him to learn how to be a boyfriend

So my (F25) boyfriend(M26) (LDR) and I were friends for a year in a larger group, and I always told myself I wouldn’t date him for his personality, but then we started flirting while drinking and gaming and we ended up doing some spicy things over text for a few nights. We started spending more time together online gaming and being in a voice call without friends, and got to know each other a lot better. I liked his jokes, and he’s actually a pretty caring guy, and always expresses interest in becoming a ‘power couple’ (his words).

However, he’s clueless in relationships.

I asked him if he had any past girlfriends/relationships before and he said yes, one, but didn’t elaborate. I told him my last relationship was many years and we were engaged but called it off due to him being military and getting suddenly deployed in Japan(and then Afghanistan) where I didn’t want to uproot my life like that. My boyfriend went quiet and then said ‘oh um yeah I dated her for a week in 6th grade’ and like… okay it was kinda funny, but also who says that seriously about being in a previous relationship?!

Anyways, needless to say he’s never been in a relationship before, is a virgin, and doesn’t know how to express his feelings very well. I’ve tried to ‘lead by example’ and show him ways I like to be treated, but the problem is that he overdoes everything \*to death\*. I said I liked him calling me pet names, but then every single time he had to call out to me, he used increasingly weirder pet names and it got creepy. He thinks he’s doing a great job at being a boyfriend with the smallest scrap of happiness. I feel like if I express any sort of positive emotion he assumes all is well and he’s the best out there. It’s annoying the hell outta me, because I’m always annoyed that I can’t express how I feel without him assuming it’s the end of times, and I can’t say anything that makes me happy because to him it ‘excuses all other faults’ or something. Like yes, I like it when you check in with me over text with a cute emote, but also I don’t want be dating an emote bot, sending me 400 emotes all day isn’t my idea of ‘talking’.

He dates like the ‘dating women for dummies’ book came to life x100.

He also gets very defensive when I try to tell him I don’t like certain things, like he’s only ever sent me 3 selfies, he doesn’t want to video call because he’s super self-conscious, he’s afraid to talk about his feelings, he doesn’t like deep conversation, and he’s scared to be intimate with me unless it’s over text.

I tried to tell him it’s a two way street, and I’d love to have him talk to me about deep stuff and have meaningful conversations, but next day it’s like he’s had amnesia and can’t remember anything we talked about. I’m constantly having to remind him of what we’ve talked about, about figuring out our wants and needs and how I’m unhappy because everything we do is so incredibly surface level. I feel like his mom having to remind him to do his homework.

Now obviously, I understand that my own frustration over him doesn’t really help, but it’s hard not to feel that way when he hasn’t been learning to be a ‘relationship boyfriend’ not just a ‘dating boyfriend’. I’m always annoyed, even talking to him is enough to make me roll my eyes, and I’ve been trying to keep my annoyance in check, to give him time to show action that things will get better, but man…. I’m just tired. We’ve had the conversation where I said I’m at my limit and things need to change or I’m leaving, and we agreed that we’ll give it another go, but then the next day he’s acting like nothings different, and when I asked him if he had any plans for us going forward, he seemed to be clueless about the conversation the day before. It’s like he’s got selective daily amnesia.

Has anyone dated someone who had never been in a relationship before? Any advice?

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tl;dr

my LDR boyfriend doesn’t know how to date a woman, gets defensive when I try to guide him, has intimacy issues involving him going past a surface level of dating, and constantly forgets anytime we talk about relationship stuff, I feel like his mom reminding him to do his homework. We talked, told him things change or I leave, and he \*again\* acted like nothing was wrong and forget everything we talked about.