I’m 28 and I’m happier than I’ve ever been.
But recently I decided to leave my job and for some reason when I made that decision it made me think about things ended which lead to me thinking about death, the ending of “me.”
Since then, I have recurring fits of fear of death, rumination on it, intense curiosity and just utter bewilderment.
To be honest, I just wish I didn’t have it popping into my head.
I’m agnostic. I think there’s probably some sort of afterlife, but I have no idea what happens. Both strict Atheism/materialism and literalist religion seem impossible to be certain about. If I could, that would make it a lot easier. It’s the uncertainty that bothers me.
As I said, I am happy and much less anxious than I used to be overall. But this is bothering me. I hope it’s a phase.
40 comments
I never was that afraid of it, because I’m not leaving anything or anyone behind.
Everything ends. Don’t play the ending, play the moment. Live as best you can, making other’s lives better. Experience new things. Die knowing you experienced joy and love and that the world was better for having you in it, however briefly.
You don’t. You just accept that it’s going to happen and make the most of the time you have
It is understandable if you don’t want to your life to end, but if you are scared of what comes after death, I really don’t think you need to stress, from what I’ve heard over the years, the afterlife seems like the most awesome, peaceful and happiest place imaginable, it’s home. IMO the religious people going on about god’s judgement and going to hell is a load of nonsense, it’s just a way to keep people fearful, obedient and in the religious groups so they can be controlled. Plus if there was any place that could be considered hellish, I would say right here on earth would be it, not the afterlife where we are headed. 🙂
This is gonna sound really dumb, but I realised I don’t care about waking up when I’m asleep, and I imagine death will be a little like that.
I am scared that one day I’ll have to go, but I’m glad I won’t be sad after I’m gone.
Maybe try doing some activities that will make feel more alive like extreme sports and accept the idea that death will happen eventually so why fear it
i don’t think about it. Its not worth stressing over. its going to happen no matter what
I’m more of an optimistic nihilist so this might sound bleak, but it comes from a good place. I always looked at death as a reward for a life well-lived. We work so much to survive and provide and getting to just blink out of existence and leave behind a bunch of stories sounds nice. You start working towards finding new experiences to live, and then you have people that care about you that you have to be there for, so I don’t see it as better than life, but it does sound nice. Like one day I’ll get called to an eternal ‘sleeping in on Saturday’ I never wake up from, and I become a bunch of stories to tell around the table.
We’re all stuck here, none of us did it on purpose or consented to it, and we’re all dealing with similar shit, so why not do everything I can to make it as easy as possible on everyone that meets me? Crack a dumb joke at the checkout counter, wear a dumb shirt, sing out loud, we’re all stuck here so I’m having fun with it until my numbers called. If it’s tomorrow or in 50 years, I feel better knowing I’m living how I want to.
Read human history. Death is unremarkable and always at the ready. Candles in the wind and all that
I don’t.
I’ve had thanatophobia since I was a teen. Occasionally I get strong bouts of it that are so acute they feel like dissociative events. The idea that I will stop being, that the world will go on and I will have no comprehension or consciousness, is the true meaning of horror. It’s utterly in every possible way horrible.
The only advice I have is to talk about it when it happens. That, and time, help. Over the years the attacks are less frequent and severe.
And the knowledge that there is nothing after, that this is all I get, is a motivation. The strongest one I know of.
Edit. Also, fucking helps. A lot.
It’s not worth thinking about to me since it happens anyway to everyone, I just try to live in the moment and take in whatever is around me.
Understanding it’s going to happen, and that there is nothing you can do about it, so… better live life to the fullest.
Have an awesome life every single day and know that you did your best.
Chase your dreams. Have adventures. Actually *do* the things you’ve always wanted to do, no matter how challenging they seem, instead of just daydreaming about them.
I always feared death before I figured that out, and I stopped fearing death once I figured it out. I don’t particularly *want* to die any time soon. I’d like to keep going for at least a few more decades. But if a doctor told me I had a very short time to live, I’d be like “I’ve lived a life I’m happy with and proud of, and I’m prepared to leave this world with no regrets.”
I had kids. I don’t understand why this helped, but it did
You don’t . You embrace it and live your life.
“Dont think about it” – Rick Sanchez
When you find out, let me know lol
The older I get (35 in 2 weeks) the more I let this consume me.
Psychedelics helped me immensely. Just be responsible about it. Find a local shaman or experienced friend you can trust.
If you go down this path, don’t try to control the experience (that’s how people have “bad trips” imho). Just let it happen and enjoy the trip.
Man stares into the abyss, and the abyss stares back out at him.
At that point, man finds his character
And that is what keeps him out of the abyss.
Live a life worth living. Not epic or crazy, just enjoyable, and morally sound. Have some kids eventually, find a woman worth loving, and just do right by yourself, nature and your fellow man.
Also, accept the fact that it cannot be avoided. You will get there soon enough. Worry will only make it seem faster.
Lastly, watch Monty Python’s “Life of Brian” if for nothing else the closing song. “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”
Fear of death is fear of life.
I like to believe that when we die we’ll go into a dream state so if you die happy and satisfied you’ll have good dreams. If you die a gloomy regretful death than you’re stuck with nightmares for eternity.
‘Ooooh I seeeeee, everything must be this way, and everything is going to turn out as it should……and everything is going to be ok…..’
Someone on shrooms on some beautiful starlit summer night.
I nearly died 3 years ago so I had to accept it, within 3 days in a hospital bed with no improvement to my condition (Liver Failure) I was mentally prepared to die. It was life changing, I recommend it to everyone. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
I used to work in hospice. Most of my patients were elderly but some weren’t. Many of them knew they were sick long before they were dying. So it wasn’t a surprise.
Still, there were always a few that found out they had stage 4 cancer or something else maybe a month or two before I showed up. They went from a daily 3 mile jog to being unable to pee by themselves in a very short time.
Death can happen to anyone. You never know. At some point we all have to accept our mortality.
I’ve never had a fear of death. I was taught as a little kid that God sent me to earth, that my life has a purpose, and to anticipate an afterlife that was better than life. I still believe those things. I’m rather at peace with what comes after this life. Just maybe not with some of the things that come during this life.
Should an afterlife exist, then just live a life that you would be happy to look back on.
Ended up in a similar situation during my senior year of high school especially towards the end when we were done but not actually done, like we showed up to school didn’t do shit, and that summer was actually brutal, like I had zero clue what to do with myself because I played sports and my summers were taken up by going to camps , and doing summer training what got me through was I decided to say fuck it almost all of my family had served went to the Air Force recruiters office and joined that took care of those thoughts because I felt I had a purpose and now I’ve been in almost 4 out 6 years and preparing for my first deployment some of those thoughts came back when I had to draft a will, but the fear isn’t there anymore because if I die while gone I know at least a few times a year someone will say my name at the veterans cemetery when they do memorial day and the wreaths across america, I guess my fear was being totally forgotten and that won’t happen for a long time after I’m gone, now post Air Force days I’m using my benefits to go to school and get my paramedic certification and I want to be a firefighter
Death is just as much a part of life as birth is. You cannot have one without the other, and if you did life would be meaningless.
Picture it this way, death is going to be just like it was before you were born. Absolute nothingness, and utter peace. Like a dream that lasts forever, and you aren’t even aware of it. Your consciousness is going to disappear into the universe, just like everyone who has died before us.
As a fellow agnostic, we just have to wait and see what happens. If there is a God, cool. If there isn’t, cool. I’m focusing on living a good life treating people with respect and abiding by a moral compass and if there is a God and he isn’t cool with that, oh well.
Getting the chance to be alive is already a miraculous achievement, I could have been born an insect with a 2-day life span but instead I am a human who can look up at the stars and question the very fundamentals of the universe. In my opinion, all of us make up a collective universal consciousness and the universe is experiencing itself through us. AKA… the Egg Theory.
You just got to come to terms that you can’t and will never know what’s on the other side of that door. Death waits for no man; we will all experience it one day, so rest assured that you won’t be alone.
When you’ve stared death in the white of your eye, you no longer fear it.
I was suicidal in my late teen/early 20s (maybe still am to a certain degree), and I’ve just realized that death is inevitable and if I go, I won’t have to worry about anything anymore.
I might “loose out” on some things, but also it wouldn’t be the worst thing if I died. Peace for an eternity sounds pretty decent compared to life right now.
Magic mushrooms changed my views on death, what I am, what part I play etc.
I don’t fear death. Don’t want to experience it for a while but when it comes, it comes.
I got robbed at gunpoint while on a very powerful edible. Having a Glock pressed to your head while being beyond stoned is a fucking trip man, I swear my whole life played out in a matter of seconds.
Ever since that day I have accepted I will die one day. I don’t fear it, but if I’m going to die at the hands of another man, they are going to have to earn it.
I don’t fear it. It’ll probably be better than this.
The more you have going on in your life, the more life will be your focus.
I had a similar experience to you after graduating college, I really realized that I would die and cease to exist one day, and that thought started to dominate. It was bad while I was living at my parents for a month after graduation. After I started my new job and my focus was on building my life, the fear went away. Going to sleep thinking about your goals or girls or whatever is the best cure.
Thanks to denial, I’m immortal!
God!
Faith is not easy. And to some, it’s absolutely impossible to put faith in something you don’t understand or can not see.
But I believe in God and read the Bible and have faith that God is doing more than we could ever understand. I also do not go to church regularly.
Faith in knowing that whatever happens is going to happen regardless of whether you do or don’t do. Just be kind and do your best.
I recognize the fact that the chances of me dying before 70 are extremely small and I want to die anyways
Copied from the other thread because that one is dead and this one isn’t:
I became way more comfortable with it by accepting its inevitability. Being afraid of mortality (in the abstract, not of a particular thing immediately killing you) is like being afraid of the sunset. It’s just completely pointless stress over something that is completely unavoidable.
Part of this honestly probably came from the times I was close to dying (both illness and near-accidents), and from seeing other people die. Honestly, general anaesthesia probably helped too, by seeing what nothingness is like.
It helped to realize that I wasn’t really afraid of dying. I was afraid of not living. And you can not-live (say, sit in a cubicle unfulfilled) for a long time and then die, and that’s just as repulsive to me as dying tomorrow, really moreso. So I need to just make sure I’m respecting my time here, living the best I can while I can.
That framing pushes me forward rather than holding me back. Like, I brought my mom on a great, big trip recently significantly motivated by my awareness of mortality. We aren’t going to both be around forever. I have to accept that. But that makes the time now so much more precious. I need to make sure we live what we want out now while we can. So we went and had a great time on a trip to a place she had always wanted to go.
I’m pretty confident that the more I do things like this, live a life worth living and help other do so into the future, the less stressed I’ll be when I am on my deathbed. There will be fewer regrets, fewer loose ends I feel responsible for not tying, more to take pride in.
Accepting death is even liberating, really. Everything is impermanent. The little daily mistakes you make don’t really matter. On your deathbed you’ll only have your memories, and the ripples of impact all your combined actions have on the people around you, however far they go. If you better the lives of the people around you, and them their people, then that ripple will carry on for a while, touching a lot of people, which is enough for me.
I think that death is a gift. An end to this boring, mundane and expensive life.