Hi all!
I’m in need of advice in this situation. I met a guy on Tinder and we really hit it off. He’s consistent, can hold a conversation, and seems to be decent. We’ve been talking for almost a month.
The issue I have now is that he recently lost a relative that was super close to him. I, however, am very awkward when it comes to things like death and consoling others- even in my regular friendships. I already messaged that I am available if he needs anything, even to just sit and do nothing or be a distraction if need be. I said that I’ll give space too.
Question is, how do I check in while also giving space?
I can give more details if needed!
3 comments
I think what you are doing is more then enough and is appreciated by him! I know you said you want to do more! I think just talk him how you would regularly. Ask him how his day is/was, maybe we can get you out the house to go to the movies as a distraction or get ice cream! You are doing great
Have you met him yet? Because bringing over food is totally appropriate when someone is grieving. You could bring him something and that way if he wants company he can ask you to stay and if not it’s just a lovely nurturing gesture you made to help him through this difficult time.
I’ve essentially been in this scenario with someone i’ve been dating for a few months now. We met as she was in town to be a caretaker for her late dad.
Everyone is different, but there is usually common things that will work for everyone. You’re doing that by checking in on him. Text at a pace you guys are used to if he’s receptive. If it has slowed a ton, try to just check in occasionally (something like once a day) and maybe have a conversation if he’s up for it. If you’ve picked up on things he likes, maybe get him a small gift (chocolate/candy or take him to his favorite restaurant if its reasonable). Simple gestures and thoughtfulness are basically all you can and need to do.