So there’s this younger guy(I’m guessing maybe 22) who works at my gym and I have a hopeless crush on him. For weeks he’s been checking me in and we’ve engaged in small talk so he definitely knows me. He could just be being friendly and great at his job, but every time I walk in he gets the biggest smile on his face and when he’s close I can feel the nervous tension between us. Could just be me tho, but who knows. I’m a 37 year old woman and I’ve been told I look like I’m in my 20s. I’m attractive and I’m very confident. Recently I realized how confident I actually am when I walked up to him and gave him my number without him asking. I told him I had to do it before “I chickened out”. He raised his eyebrows, clearly flattered, and I walked away to the locker room where I almost passed out. Haha! I gathered my stuff (and myself) and walked past the front desk to leave. He was there, but he was mid conversation w/ a co-worker so I let him be, but to my surprise when I was nearly at the door he called out to me “have a good one!” I smiled and thanked him, he smiled back, and that was that.
But that was 4 days ago and I’ve heard nothing. I’m currently working with the assumption that he’s just not into me and that’s okay. I returned to the gym today, knowing I’ll probably see him and I did. He wasn’t at the front when I checked in or when I left, but I saw him at the front a couple times when I was on the main floor. I know he saw me because he sat directly across from me while I was working out to enroll a new member. He even moved his chair around to where he could face me while helping her. Not gonna lie, that gave me some hope. My shyness wouldn’t let me look his way more than twice and each time he was focused on her, but there’s no way he missed me. My intention today was to catch him and make light of the note exchange. Ask him if he’s received any “interesting notes lately” or something like that to gauge his interest that way, but I didn’t get the chance. However, there’s always tomorrow cause I’m not going to switch gyms just because he didn’t reply. I’m too grown for that. My thing is this: I’m trying to let this go. All signs point to him not being into me like that, but I can’t help feeling that there’s something more here. I’ve always had a very strong intuition about all things, and I’m getting the feeling that he could be trying to figure me out. I don’t know, but regardless I do plan on talking to him when I get the chance and that will probably clear up everything. In the meantime, this is driving me bananas. Lol If it helps, the note I gave him was simple: “Hey! If you’re interested, text me.” So what’s happening here? Enlighten me please.
4 comments
I don’t think he’s interested
You know anything about this guy? I mean if he’s hot enough that random 37 year olds feel compelled to ask him out at the gym he might be taken.
Or he might be intimidated or not know what to make of it. When I was at my 20’s I spent a night like dancing with some woman I met at a bar who must’ve been mid-30’s and she gave me her number and I just didn’t know what to make of it haha. I had limited experience with any form of dating at that point let alone a woman 10+ years older than me.
> but I can’t help feeling that there’s something more here
It can be pretty easy to delude yourself in situations like this, happens to the best of us.
Here is some general advice: Imagine you just got asked out by somebody you’re very interested in, what would you do? You’d probably try to organise the date very quickly, you would probably continue showing obvious signs of interest, you would probably text the person.
This guy isn’t doing any of that, and whilst it’s possible he has terrible social skills, it’s just more likely that he doesn’t feel the same way you do. Give up on it, if he cares he will make a move, if he doesn’t then he won’t.
don’t feel bad or ashamed of what you did OP, you shot your shot and did what many others couldn’t do. didn’t miss your chance. i bet you’ve got a lot of admirers in the gym and they can’t do what you did 🤧
I’m hopelessly in love with my personal trainer at my gym who is way younger than me too, lol. but from what I’ve gathered, people working at the gyms have a huge probability of being players, unfortunately. they get hit on pretty often, so I’m guessing they have several options waiting around. i ofc don’t know what’s going through your guy’s mind but my only advice is: you don’t need to open the convo yourself. if you feel awkward, try to suppress it. I’d wait for him to start the convo, if he ever does. if not, then it can go to limbo.