I (M23) met a girl (F26) through friends at a party a bit ago and we got along really well and I asked her to go on a date. I guess my friends had brought her to one of my stand up open mic events but I didn’t know that and she had a little crush on me already. Things went well and we got a second date lined up this past weekend and afterward we planned to go out to some bars and clubs with our mutual friends.
While we were walking on the streets in our group we ran into my ex and her friends. They live pretty close to me and while I’ve seen them around before we’ve only made eye contact and haven’t talked since we were together. I broke up with my ex like 5 years ago because she cheated on me many times and was pretty emotionally abusive. Her family was very upset with it all and it was a tense situation, I retaliated and said some fucked up things to her and I fucked her sister a few times who was a few years older than us. The sister approached me after the breakup and told me she thought I was attractive and how my ex didn’t deserve me and kind of made it happen. I regret doing it but it is in the past.
Anyway, I’ve learned and grown since then and I’m with my group of people and we run into my ex. My ex was piss drunk and noticed me holding hands with my date and came up to us and started berating me and said “are you trying to fuck her sister too?” My date was obviously confused and my ex decided to elaborate, conveniently leaving a lot of pertinent details. I stayed cool until friends from each group broke apart the conflict and we went our separate ways.
Once we were at the club I tried dancing with my date and making things seem normal but she was obviously very put off and cold. I tried to tell her how I enjoyed her company and was glad we met and went in for a first kiss but it was reluctantly taken.
She’s been really cold since and I sense a break off coming soon. I’m not sure how to talk to her about something like this but I understand we’re not very involved with each other yet and she doesn’t owe me anything.
2 comments
Tell your date the whole story. She will have all the information she needs to make a decision for herself.
While her emotional abuse was NOT OK, sleeping with her sister was ALSO not ok. I appreciate that you’ve grown, but unfortunately, these are consequences of a poor choice you made. It’s sucks that your ex threw you under the bus like that, but I don’t really blame your date. I would probably see that as a dealbreaker in her position, too. All you can do is be really honest with the date about the situation. Make sure you do NOT try to justify sleeping with the sister; acknowledge that it was a fucked up thing and that you’ve grown. It MAY make a difference, but it may not.