What are innocuous things about being a woman that you’ve had to explain to a man?

30 comments

1. I’ll go first:

   A bit ago, my bf asked why I and other women he has known keep the plastic wrapper from pads. I explained to him that it is a courtesy thing, because the wrapper is good for rolling up the used pad. It helps conceal it as well as contain some of the odor. He was surprised, since it made perfect sense but that it never would have occurred to him.

2. Periods aren’t actually monthly, as in January, February, March. They can be, but often that’s just coincidence. You can have two periods in one month and you can have no periods in one month.

3. My husband’s underwear drawer – a stack of 2 packages of the exact same colour/style underwear that he’s worn for over a decade that he just replaces as needed because it’s always in stock and doesn’t change. A couple different styles of black and white undershirts that he wears based on daily preference.
   My underwear drawer – bras of different styles and cuts and underwear in probably a dozen different styles that matches specific outfits, doesn’t pinch, or smoothes or whatever else it needs to do to make an outfit look good. And there’s specific ones that go with specific clothes.

4. Wiping front to back…

5. I can’t just buy something in my size and call it good. I have pants that fit me in sizes 12 through 16. I have dresses in M, L, and XL and in sizes 10 through 14. I have tops in S, M, L, and XL. There are some styles that will never fit me without tailoring no matter what the size because of my body shape.

6. That periods aren’t sexual and fun, that we don’t think about our vaginas all day, that we aren’t the male gaze stereotype of makeup and dresses, that not liking “girly” things is actually fairly common, that we fought hard for sex segregated spaces because we need safety that men cannot understand.

7. We don’t pee out of our vagina 💀

8. Why my mood change before, during and after my period, why pregnancy affected my moods and thoughts process, and why I don’t wear the same sizes for everything, including for the type of shoes.

9. About my change of mood before / during period. That I don’t touch my boobs or think about them at all

10. That it’s not safe to go to a weekend music festival alone. My bf doesn’t understand why I don’t go by myself.

11. That my body isn’t a set of buttons to mash in the right order to get the prize. The exact same thing may not turn me on every time, etc.

    I have to believe there are men out there that this is also true for, but some guys decode they have figured out the pattern and refuse to vary.

12. That I have to change out of my wet swimsuit before we leave the beach.

13. Being constantly vigilant/ having situational awarenss. My partner just goes through life feeling safe and secure. The number of times I’ve pointed out sketchy shit to him that was just *not* on his radar has been astonishing. Even just being aware of where others are. I never run into or accidentally block people out in public because I’m aware of where everyone is in relation to me, my partner is just oblivious to his position in relation to others.

14. That most of us started experiencing sexual harassment as children.

    That they do know people who have had abortions, even if they think they haven’t.

15. That walking home late at night in the dark isn’t a fucking option.

16. That I want to know details about what to expect before traveling or going to an invitation. Yeah, that influences what outfit I choose, which shoes and so on.

    There is nothing worse than one birthday where I wore pumps to be beautiful. Then I was asked to join a walk. It went a bit uphill and downhill over grass and streets. My feet hurt. Now my bf knows that it’s a struggle between looking good and being flexible for sporty activity.

17. That me being wet does not mean I am horny.

18. You getting a boner when looking at woman or girl does NOT MEAN SHE IS TRYING TO DO THAT TO YOU. Even if she is dressed up looking nice. . she is probably trying to impress her friends or a very specific boy or man and NOT YOU.

    Just because you feel something when looking at a woman does not mean that she is trying to make you feel that way.

    So many men just do not get this. They think everything is about them .. everything women do is so deliberate and targeted specifically to them. Oh she wore those short shorts, she knows what she is doing. Especially vomitrocious when it’s a very young girl just trying to get some pimply boy in her class to talk to her and a grown man who is a complete stranger takes it as an invitation like “oh yeah she wants to do this to me. . she loves me looking at her like this.”

    See also: men since the beginning of time demanding that women smile on command because “it looks good to ME” — they are unable to imagine a woman existing for any other purpose than to be entertaining and attractive to me me me me me who is the center of the universe.

19. That the clothes he thinks are super cute for me are also super super uncomfortable

20. That I have to have my keys out before I get to my front door so I’m not awkwardly fumbling for them and making myself vulnerable

21. Your bra size isn’t only dependent on your cup size

22. Periods aren’t necessarily at the END of the month!

23. That we have to use conditioner on our hair otherwise it is almost impossible to brush and feeling horrible. It IS a necessity when it comes to washing hair

24. That we use toilet paper every time we go to the bathroom and therefore will go through more than men!

25. That we always have to be paying attention to our surroundings. My ex told me I could go on a jog alone at night and was confused when I had to explain to him that that was a wildly dangerous idea for a woman.

    Also that we started getting sexually harassed at shockingly young ages- 6/7/8- getting catcalled by adult men.

26. What it feels like to have a yeast infection- how antibiotics just cause severe yeast infections sometimes. And how I pay attention to the way people, especially other men, sit next to me. Situational awareness was a fun one for my boyfriend to discover

27. Walking alone on the street may result in rape and death

28. Mostly safety awareness things, that have never crossed their minds. Noticing which cars are parked next to your car. Getting the keys out and ready. Paying attention to who else is in a parking lot or sidewalk etc

29. The fact that I can’t just go out to my car when it’s dark. I have to mentally and physically prepare.

30. The average man is much stronger than me. I remember instructing boyfriends to be gentle with me when squeezing me, slapping my butt or anything like that, they easily hurt me by accident. Luckily it wasn’t a conversation I had to have multiple times and just a misunderstanding of force. I literally bruise like a peach.