I matched with this guy on Tinder, everything was going great communication-wise, but he wanted to meet right away, which I didn’t like. The day after, I was going on a vacation for one month, and he tells me that we shouldn’t message until I come back, because he’s “really bad at texting and is sure it won’t work out.” He told me that he wants to get to know the real me, not a person through chat. And that if life wants, we can meet when I come back, and I should let him know when that happens. What the hell? To me it’s screaming feminine energy or he’s just not interested, but I’m curious about your opinions.
Edit: typo it’s only ONE month
Plus I wanted to add that the reason why this is strange to me and I don’t like it is because I’m very traditional in who should be the one pursuing the other in the dating world and this kinda just feels to me as if he wouldn’t want to put in the effort. If I like someone, then I obviously want to keep in touch – according to my logic.
5 comments
I think it’s smart and would do the same, texting isn’t doing much for me, especially when I never met a woman, 2 months is a long time, you might meet someone, he might meet someone.
I don’t really know what you mean with “feminine energy”
I think it’s stupid to invest so much energy into someone, I never met
Now ofc different people like different things, but I understand where he is coming from.
To me, chatting, phone calls, and video chats only go so long. This is especially true for people I haven’t even met yet.
Two months of this would just be too much for me.
Not to mention that at the 2 month mark of meeting someone, you start thinking of commitment to this person, but doing this over JUST chats makes it feel very impersonal.
Honestly, it just makes it more complicated than most people would be comfortable with.
I don’t think you are crazy for asking this and I don’t think he’s crazy for not wanting to. I mean you haven’t even met in person and now you’ll be gone for a month. I see why you’d be upset cause it’s a case of ‘if you really like me you’d put in the effort now’. He’s thinking that you could be talking to 100s of different guys while on this vacation why would he invest that time and effort into someone you haven’t met yet and again you won’t see for a month.
Well he did ask you out!
I think its understandable, that someone doesn’t want to invest a lot of time before meeting, what if you write weeks and weeks, get rezlly high expectations, and when you finally meet theres no chemistry?
Yeah no way am I gonna be long distance pen pals for a month with a girl I haven’t met yet. I’d say something similar as he did. “Have a great trip and if you want, let’s reconnect when you get back in town. You can tell me all about your adventures over a glass of wine.”
It just do make sense for him to put a bunch of time and energy into texting for a month.