Today I (F – 30) learned that my two other roommates (F – 30’s) — where i recently moved into — decided that for me to continue living here, i need to give up the room I’m paying for and switch rooms with one of them.
Her argument is that she just discovered she has to work from home everyday now, and that her room is too dark and that doesn’t contribute to her mental health (so screw mine I guess).
They decided that because she has been living there way before me, that she would get to call dibs on the room.
I’m very confused because even though it seems like “ah, it’s just a room”, this is a dynamic I’m not okay with. I didn’t choose the other room, the one that I’m currently at was the one being advertised before I moved in.
There never was an implication that I might have to move over to the other room when I first moved in.
No one really cares about what I want, because it’s a “either we switch or this won’t work” situation.
I thought about saying that I can’t go to the other room, that I’m officially staying in this one until September, which was what we agreed on initially, but that if it’s really important for the other roommate to be in this room, that I want compensation for having to move out so abruptly.
Im not sure if I’m right to feel this way, or how to handle this but I want more opinions, arguments more perspectives etc
TL;DR – my roommates decided I need to switch rooms with one of them in order to continue living here, and I feel blindsided
7 comments
Do you have a lease or contract? If yes then stay exactly where you are (the room that was advertised to you).
Don’t move, it sets a bad precedent. And if you’re moving in September anyways, don’t hassle yourself for a month.
Even if they have some other inconvenience, they can just ask you to move out. That’s not how it works.
Take the “this won’t work” option, and get out while you can!
There’s likely no way to compromise on this and have everyone end up happy. You could offer to pay lower rent for the other room, since clearly it is a less desirable room, but given your housemates are demanding you move, I doubt they’re amenable to that. The other concern is what will they do if you say no. Are they likely to go into your room and remove all your stuff while you’re away from the house?
The best solution for you is probably to find another place to live, since things may get hostile where you’re living now. Your two housemates are making unreasonable demands and don’t seem open to discussion. If they don’t get their way things will probably get worse.
Considering that this is a short-term thing — it’s only a few weeks to September — I would take whichever of the two options you most want to take. If you are willing to move rooms, then say yes, but ask for break on rent for the remaining time. If it was all the same to me, and if I didn’t have a lot of stuff, and depending on the personalities of the roommates (like, if they’re vengeful), I might switch in order to keep the peace until I left. But if I didn’t think they would do anything and I really didn’t want to move my stuff, I would tell them that they can have the room when I move out in a few weeks. Your roommate can pay for a co-working space until then.
Also, look up tenants’ rights laws in your area. Not that this situation needs a lawyer or a court to intervene, but you might find that legal facts help get your roommates off your back. They might just leave you alone if you can say, “I did look this up, and I have a right to remain in the promised room, unless you give me XX days’ notice. In light of that, I’d like to stay where I am until the end of our agreement.”
NTA, but if you can make other living arrangements, please do. This sort of arrangement is not what you signed up for, and they are already, after a short while, trying to force you to change it.
It’s not worth the drama of sticking around to find out what they NEED you to do for their ‘mental health’.
If this is their way of handling problems (“we discussed this between us and made a decision without you, now do what we say or else,”), I wouldn’t want to continue living with them either.
Roommates who act like it’s THEIR house just because they’ve been there longer when everyone is paying their fair share of rent are uniquely horrible people. It will only get worse. You shouldn’t feel like a guest in a place where you are a paying tenant.