I’m super into cum but my gf is not at all.

37 comments

1. You have a cum fetish if it feels blissful to cum on someone’s face, and there’s nothing wrong with having it! It’s also not wrong for her to not like it.

   I hate the advice of leave your partner for every situation, and I’m not necessarily advocating for that, but you need to decide if you care about being sexually fulfilled or not.

   Even if she frustratingly gives in and let’s you cum on her face, will it really be satisfying to watch your partner begrudgingly take it? The act that gives you the most pleasure in the world is something your partner does unenthusiastically. I wouldn’t be able to live with that.

   I can promise you there are women out there who LOVE having cum all over them (me, for one) and my husband loves to give it to me! 💦😛 You’re not stuck unfulfilled unless you force yourself to be.

2. looks like you guys have a sexual incompatibility! that’s fine. most couples have at least one disagreement in the bedroom.

   if it’s a no for her, it’s a no. looks like there’s gonna have to be either some sort of sacrifice or a compromise!

   it’s easy to work through roadblocks like this with open and honest communication, so the main plain of action is to have some open and honest conversations! these conversations don’t have to be all serious in tone either, it can be a lighthearted serious conversation as much as that sounds like an oxymoron

3. Cumming on my face is a no go because to me it’s degrading and just gross. Cum on my breasts or my belly or my ass, you have options

4. So… you enjoy going down on her “very much”, but are withholding that mutual pleasure out of some sort of misguided quid pro quo?

   Sounds like an incompatibility, but I’d be remiss not to point out that the above is pretty childish. You’re into what you’re into, but she’s a fully developed adult and if she doesn’t share the fetish and hasn’t been receptive- in most cases its just not going to happen my dude.

   Best you can do is have a talk about areas where you’re both receptive to compromise or just take the L here.

   Personally, I think squirting is rather hot- but sometimes its alright to let fantasies be fantasies out of respect for partnership.

5. Get a better gf then. Feeling unsatisfied and undesired in a relationship really kills people’s self esteem. Not like you can’t still be friends.

   Edit to add that I don’t personally find cum on my face degrading in the slightest as I have a pleasure kink and I can’t possibly be the only one

6. Sounds like you guys are incompatible. Fwiw I don’t think there are tons of women out there ok with cum on their face, or in their mouth on a regular basis. Cum on the face feels degrading, at least for me.

7. Thanks for all your input already. I understand about the advice to find someone else, I have been on that fence many times and each time I conclude that I can sacrifice my ultimate pleasure, I try and look at it as a kind of zen challenge! But then it hits me some days so hard, like all I’d love to do is spend the day being a one man bukkake team. My wish is not to degrade her, that is not the source of my pleasure or satisfaction. It is that she would offer her face for my pleasure, I hoped she could understand that I think she is so attractive that I want to achieve orgasm like that. It is hard to explain the exact ‘why’, but it is my ultimate pleasure and my highest excitement in sex. And how a woman’s face looks covered is just amazing, I want to just lay next to her afterwards and look at her and then give her pleasure however way she would like it. I am not withholding going down on her from spite or some childish grudge, it is that I am genuinely unexciting about sex. Sometimes, we do get aroused together, she breastfeeds me, and that always gets us going, I would be complete if she would just lay back and let me unload all over her!

8. You ask. She says no. So you decide if you can live without it.

   If not then find somebody else.

   This isn’t something you can push. It’s a fetish. And not everybody wants cum on their face. Some are okay with it. Some are not..

   You need to decide if that’s okay. Withholding sex and trying to work out how to get her to do it are both detrimental.

9. Yeah No.

10. I’m not a fan of it shooting all over my face bc it takes me an hour to straighten my hair, so that’s a no. I will allow it in my mouth and anywhere else.

    Compromise.

    Have a convo and if she’s not receptive, tell her it’s not working out bc she won’t let you cum on her face…say it aloud and see how it sounds as a reason.

11. For a lot of women a facial is just a hard no, and that’s just the way it is. It sounds like she’s ok with some of your kinks, just not that one. (This one is/has moved into a full-blown fetish from the sounds of things.) In all likelihood she’ll never change her mind on this one (no one I’ve ever known who wasn’t into it ever did), and if you want to stay anyway that’s cool. What I would find concerning is it’s affected your desire for sex with her to the extent it’s stopping you from doing certain things and cut way down on the frequency. That’s not a good sign for the long term. She may be fine with things now, but you may find yourself less and less drawn to having sex with her and that may start to be a problem for her.

    I really suggest you try talking to her, not to try and talk her into it (if she ever wants to try a facial that would have to be her choice, not because you pressed it), but to explain that it’s really affecting your overall desire. She may want to let you cum on her in other places (I have had partners change on this over time, going from no cum anywhere to being ok with cum on their body) or it just may be a hard boundary for her forever. If that’s the case you may want to talk with a sex therapist (maybe both of you, but definitely you) to decide if you can work past this better than you are. If not, and you keep finding yourself wanting sex less and less, you may need to move on regardless. You don’t want to end up with a dead bedroom because she won’t budge and you can’t continue. It’s not fair to either of you, no matter how much you love her.

12. I really feel a man cumming on my face is very demoralizing. I can’t not feel humiliated by the act. Idk if she feels this way, but I do know other women who feel this way. So it would be a hard pass for me. If you really can’t do without it, you should probably find someone who likes cum on their face. Do you really want to coerce someone into doing something like this? Don’t you want a willing participant?

13. You need to find someone compatible. You cannot force someone to like the same things as you. It’s not all about you big guy, it has to be fun and fulfilling for all involved. That means taking 2 people with their own likes/dislikes and kinks…then you merge the 2 you stick to what you both like. Both parties lose out on the stuff that is beyond their boundaries. That’s how a fair adult relationship works.

14. Ok, thanks all for your contributions. I will mull it all over and will open up a dialogue with her about it. See if we can find a solution.

15. I swear I hate this sub sometimes. Everyone goes straight to “just break up because you are incompatible”. Like fuck that. Seriously.

    Sex is PART of a relationship. Yes, an important part, but still just a part. And cumming in her face is PART of the sex. So this is literally a part of a part of your relationship. If people break up EVERY fucking time they are not compatible about something, they will be single forever.

    Personal opinion- This isn’t enough of a big deal. People like things that their partners don’t. Like seriously man, just move on from this. I like CNC but it makes my husband uncomfortable and depressed. I have had to learn to get over it. Just get over it. Seriously this is ridiculous.

16. So opposite of most of us lol. I would always choose to cum in ass/puss/mouth over having to do it myself or outside of my partner. Maybe let her put saran wrap over her face? Or press her face up to some glass?

17. Meh..how old are you again? Look, I get that you are comfortable and seemingly otherwise happy in this relationship so the best advice is to 1) Suck it up. Try cum tributes to her pictures in private and see if that works. Hopefully it will for the time being. Maybe she will change or maybe she won’t. I can definitely say that I became a lot more wild and adventurous over the years. Things I would have never considered doing, I’m absolutely game now days. I figure, fuck it. You are only going to have a few good years left to really enjoy the fun, wild stuff…do it and have the memories to remember vs being bitter and resentful of all the potential things you missed out on.
    2) Break it off and see what else is out there. I think as we get older, some people worry about being alone. That’s a scary thought to some people. Some so much so that they are willing to give up things they want or value as a compromise.

    There are no guarantees in life. The two of you could break up in five years and you may regret compromising this aspect of your life when the options and windows get smaller. Then again you may live until you are 100 and find other ways to be fulfilled. It’s honestly going to be up to you.

18. I don’t get the face thing and I’m 35M, it’s gross more than anything and it’s got to do with your own kink which means psychologically you likely get off seeing that level of her accepting you, or letting you cover her face with it. If you wanna stay with her dive into yourself and figure out something else to over time replace it with to give you that satisfaction, build more intimacy with her and feel accepted by her – talk to her and tell her you really get excited and feel loved by that acceptance and are working on yourself and like to build a stronger bond. Trust me, articulate it nice and she’ll be on you.
    You can’t ask someone to change like that or she could equally ask you to change

19. It sounds like this is a fetish for you and not just a kink. What I mean by that is you cannot have a fulfilling sex life without it. With that being the case, you aren’t sexually compatible. The sex is only getting worse, less pleasurable, more infrequent. Do both of you a favor and end things before it is full on dead bedroom.

    There are women out there that share your fetish. Look for one of those women. ⁰

20. You’re 43 but you sound like you’re 16 lmfao

21. This isn’t something you can push. It’s a fetish. And not everybody wants cum on their face. Some are okay with it. Some are not..

22. I k ow what you’re going through….

23. I can’t even handle having sauce from food on my fingers let alone sticky cum on my body and then having to deal with the awkwardness afterward as I go to clean it off.

    You can only ask, don’t push it it breakup if she says no

24. I’m in a similar situation. You just have to accept it. If it’s that big of a problem you can end the relationship. That’s it. A boundary is a boundary.

25. Open relationship?

26. If this matters that much to you then you may just not be compatible. Sex is a big deal for many people, and never getting your biggest sexual desires met will chip away at you. There’s nothing wrong with her not liking it, and her “no” should be respected. On the flip side, there’s nothing wrong with you liking it.

    I don’t get people hating on you for wanting this. I couldn’t stay with someone that didn’t go down on me. It’s interesting to me that some women are so grossed out by cum when every time their partners go down on them, they are covered in their fluids. My husband’s face is a sticky mess after I finish from oral. I guess it’s possible that the women who hate feeling cum on their body don’t expect their partners to deal with theirs either. Just a thought.

27. You are very unhappy after only 3 years.

    Both of you are young enough to want a relationship* but old enough to stop wasting each other’s time. So don’t waste her time.

    * yeah love can happen at any time but I know plenty of 50+ who gave up.

28. I don’t really understand why you’d wanna still cum on her face after hearing she’s not into it? Like isn’t the willing excitement apart of the fun? But as other comments said if this is a big deal you consider leaving otherwise a boundary is a boundary

29. I don’t enjoy the clean up but I am all for my partner doing this. Seeing how turned on he gets is what gets me going. Have you explained to her in plain English what you want and why you want it? Have you asked her to share her desires? Maybe she feels like it would be degrading. Maybe she isn’t satisfied with your sex life either.

30. You see how you are not interested in having sex because it is unfulfilling for you… remember that feeling because many women feel that way

31. Oh man. So I wasn’t going to comment again but decided to check your post history. She is going through IVF, you have some intense rage issues and are BLOWING UP AT HER and fighting with her all the while you’re trying to coerce her into sexual acts she doesn’t want to do and withholding sex entirely because you can’t be excited that she won’t just give in? Why should she ever compromise with a partner who treats her that way? IVF is terribly strenuous and you’re over here trying to force her to accept cum on her face after she says no. I hope she leaves.
    Edit to add: he was also seeking out having someone else let him do this. Claims his partner would be there but from the sounds of this post, I doubt she knew about his post seeking another female. If she was okay with that then I can’t imagine her saying “no” would be this big of an issue as it could be potentially fulfilled elsewhere.
    Therapy seems necessary here.

32. She doesn’t like it.

    I don’t like egg plant, so I don’t eat it.

    Fuck me.

33. Hire a prostitute. Should cost like 50$ or something.

34. Some advice: don’t go on Reddit asking for advice on how to pressure someone you claim to love into doing things they are not comfortable with and then act surprised and indignant and argumentative when the general conversation doesn’t go your way.

    I’ll bottom line it for you. You have a fetish. That means you’re in the minority on that particular subject. Pushing someone who is not into your fetish to take part in it against their will or better judgment is tiptoeing around sexual assault. You have explained your thoughts, and he hers. You’re forty-fucking-three years old. Either man up and accept it, or move on and hope that your dwindling good years don’t end before you find someone that is your dream partner- but if it hasn’t happens in 43 years, you might be setting your standards too high. You might not be the catch you think you are.

    I hate to be the one that breaks it to you, but if you make not cumming on someone’s face a dealbreaker in an otherwise desirable partner, you don’t deserve that partner, and if you’re going to let resentment fester over it, then let her go now while she still has some of her best years ahead of her.

35. Face is a lot to ask. Try chest as a compromise

36. Not all are in to getting it on their body, especially their face and others are. Roulette wheel, pass on this one, if you cant move on.

37. I’m 47 and do not see the appeal in cumming on my face. I’m open to trying it to see if I like it but I know if I say no my bf won’t push. If this is something you have to have then you need to break up. You are not compatible.