As title says, my partner of 5 years has been vaping for a little over a year and it’s at the point where he needs to take a hit ever 3-5 minutes, otherwise he gets testy and emotional. Granted, he makes an effort to use it when out of site, but as a previous nicotine user who’s been off for over a year, I hate knowing that there is a vape under the same roof as me.
I love him to death, but I do not want to date a person who vapes. Whenever I bring it up, he gets defensive and leaves the room. I fear that our relationship is not stronger than his love for that god damn vape. It’s like I have this person I love who’s paired to this thing that I am trying so desparately to remove myself from.
I’d love to hear how others in this situation have approached this situation.
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TLDR- I am a previous nicotine user/abuser, and I resent my partner for vaping knowing that I still crave it daily.
3 comments
>I do not want to date a person who vapes
So do not do it.
You can’t make him stop; you’ve seen that firsthand.
So your only option is to tolerate this forever or leave.
Not sure what to tell you, OP. If your past addiction isn’t enough of a reason for him to stop, I’m not sure what will convince him. If your “every 3-5 minutes” observation isn’t an exaggeration, it’s entirely possible he’s addicted himself. But even then, whether or not he’s in control of his habit, doesn’t change whether it’s a safe relationship for you anymore.
Sorry, OP.
That’s really not how that works, it’s not a cigarette, if he’s smoking that often he’s simply going to have a relatively stable amount of nicotine in his blood. MAYBE in the mornings it would effect him, but if it’s that bad he’s probably waking up several times a night to take a puff (this is why I originally quit, which I picked up to quit smoking actual cigarettes). It becomes a pain in the ass when you can’t even sleep a full 6 – 8 hours.
Anyways, my point is that he’s probably just an asshole and it has little to do with crankiness due to lack of nicotine because he hasn’t taken a hit in 10 minutes….
Quitting vaping can be just as hard as quitting cigarettes. The patches where the easiest thing I found, now I’m realizing I should have just used patches from the beginning, but whatever.