First of all, if you are here to be judgemental and offensive , please skip this post. I need genuine advice from people who are well informed and pragmatic.
I am married for 3 years and love my husband. During my teenage and youth, I used to love eye flirting and get instant butterflies when it happens. My self analysis is that it is probably because Indian cinema particularly Tamil movies romanticises it too much. Being a millennial, grew up watching them. Also, I am insecure about my looks and eye flirting gives me validation.
I have been thinking about how to tackle this issue. Help ?
Edit: I think (not sure) my husband also enjoys similar attention from his peers.
6 comments
i’ll get down votes for this…. but why stop?
i don’t know what your culture is like, but talk to your husband. Tell him it means nothing but makes you feel good, it’s away of getting validation from someone that isn’t supposed to aka your husband.
My wife and I both are natural flirts and we both think that harmless flirting with the opposite sex is healthy. it makes you feel good, a little ego boost, it’s exciting and fun. Neither of us have an issues with insecurities.
I can’t be that for my wife, i’m not exciting, i’m not new. i can validate her in other ways, i can make her feel beautiful but im the stable security she has, which is a trade of to the feeling of new and exciting.
If it’s harmless then just be honest about it and go by what you’re both comfortable with. While I was married me and my husband were fine with harmless flirting because we knew we were for each other and had trust so flirting never really bothered either of us.
So we try not to make it obvious lol
“Also, I am insecure about my looks and eye flirting gives me validation.”
Maybe you should start with addressing and unpacking this maybe in either your alone time or in therapy. Maybe there are other ways you can be validated, especially if this is something that is causing you concern and you want to put an end to (even if it seems harmless, it’s not and may become a bigger issue later with something else)
If you are insecure about your looks and are seeking validation, perhaps address this issue first. Your partner should be enough validation to face the world. This behavior will keep going if the underlying causes aren’t fixed.
I would say you need to retrain your thinking. You know it comes from a place of insecurity so for your own betterment u should learn to stop. When you get tempted tell yourself, I don’t need to use other people to feel better about myself. I’m perfect as I am. Fake it til u make it