TLDR; my moms bf has said weirdly inappropriate things about my daughter and it’s concerning me. And I don’t know what to do.
This uneasy feeling has started way before my daughter was even born. He has always given me super creepy pedo vibes.
When I was younger when he first came around at 14 years old he used to make comments about my “fat ass”. That stopped thankfully but now it’s starting with my daughter. When my daughter was 7 months old we celebrated Christmas with family. We were opening her gifts and my brothers gf got a super cute cheetah print outfit. When I showed it to everyone my step dad said “ your gonna look sexy in that outfit girl” and we all just stared at him and my brother goes “ that’s a really weird thing to say..”
and my step dad says “ no, I meant it like really pretty.”
He always obsessed with diaper changes. He always says “ has your diaper been changed?” All the time. Like almost inviting himself to change it. And few times he’s started a diaper change without asking and I have taken over quickly before she’s undressed. Earlier today my daughter was just in a diaper because she had just eaten dinner and was dirty. Her new thing is pulling at her diaper and ripping it. So as she’s doing that my step dad comments, “what are you doing girl? You gonna just do something sexy right now?”
Like what? That’s so gross and makes me scared of ever them being alone together.
When I brought it up to my mom she never had a concern and said it’s nothing.
32 comments
Have you looked him up online? I would go straight to a sex offenders registry.
Hard pass, keep this guy away from your kid please
You can google “sex offenders registry” and youll see a meghans law website where you can search for people or your area
Okay it’s pretty obvious that that guy has a thing for kids with is so gross and vile… This is really serious and I think it’s best if you talk to your mom and explain that you won’t bring your daughter around anymore since he’s very obviously a creep. I’d also talk to your brother about it and PLEASE write down everything that happens because you never know…
Video cameras. Hidden video cameras. Find some that are like the ring door bell ones when motions is detected they send the video to your phone.
Oh hell no. KEEP YOUR DAUGHTER AWAY FROM HIM.
He is a fucking predator. Don’t let him visit or even be in the same room as her.
What about your baby’s Dad? He needs to have a heart to heart with this guy, and let him know it’s not OK to touch your child.
Also, call the non-emergency police phone line in your area and ask them for info regarding the public access sex offender registry.
Since your mom is oblivious you can’t even let her watch the baby. She will leave the baby with him while you are at work or out. It’s not worth it.
Sorry you are dealing with this. It sounds like he is looking at a baby sexually. And that’s wrong. And he is a predator.
this is alarming as hell. the fact that your mother seems to think nothing of it is also alarming. idc if a man is the love of my life, as soon as he says something like that regarding a child let alone a baby that’s a clear sign to get him tf out of my life. i would make it clear that there’s been too many instances of those comments and inappropriate behavior from your step dad for you to overlook and he is not welcome around you or your daughter anymore.
Regardless of if you succeed in finding him in any registry or not – this is wholly inappropriate (super understatement). It’s obvious something is not right with him and you don’t need some legal confirmation to not be an asshole and protect your child.
So, here’s what you do. Mom, I know you love so and so but my daughter’s safety comes first. If he’s going to be here, me and my daughter aren’t. Failure to keep that child away from them makes you complicit in any harm that man does to your child. Let me say it louder for any parent in the back. If an adult does or says anything anything even remotely sexual about a child, and you let your child near that adult or any adult who associates with said person, you are actively putting your child at risk an are complicit in any abuse that they suffer. Your primary job as a parent is to keep that child safe.
It’s so fucking alarming he’d even *think* these thoughts, let alone say them aloud!! Do not ever leave your child with either your mother or her bf.
Trust your instincts, you have them for a reason.
It’s your responsibility to protect your child because your mom says it’s nothing. She just decided for herself she is choosing not to visit her grandchild. At least unless she’s without that fool. Is he so great she lets him get away with that shit?
Hey OP, I know at least in Alberta criminal convictions are all public. You can pay $10 to get them to pull this for you. Ontario may be the same. If not a PI can obtain this for you. Good luck
Keep your child away from him. Do not ever bring your daughter anywhere he is, and do not let him come to any place where your daughter is. Ever. This is serious, and if your mother objects well tough shit. Your ONLY duty is to the safety and welfare of your child.
Trust your instincts and never, NEVER, leave your daughter alone with him or your mother. Absolutely never under any circumstances. Sexual abuse usually happens by those close, like family members or family friends.
He’s gross and creepy. Your mother will not protect your daughter. Do not leave your daughter with your mother. Stop going over there. I’m gonna be harsh and tell you that if he does anything to your daughter it’ll be your fault because you ignored your mother’s behavior and trusted the wrong people
Do you and your daughter live in the same household as your mom and her boyfriend? If so, I think it’s time the two of you move out. Your mom’s boyfriend is purposely making sexual comments about your underage daughter and trying to pass it off as if it’s an innocent thing to say. It’s not. This type of behavior needs to be nipped in the bud immediately.
If your mother sees nothing wrong with her boyfriend’s comments then I think it’s time you limit your contact with your mom as well. I would also speak to other family members who have children and see if all of you can have a united front against the boyfriend and, by extension, your mom.
You’re the parent now and it’s your job to protect your child. I know going low or no contact with your mom may be difficult but it’s time to start making difficult decisions for your child’s wellbeing. I would also make sure this man has no access to your child’s photos or videos that you might be posting on social media or sending in emails to family.
I’m sorry but why are you letting some creepy dude who made sexual comments about you as a child be around your daughter?
Your mother did nothing to protect you but for the love of god please protect your daughter. That man is a predator and has tried to take multiple chances to see her naked whilst calling her sexy. It doesn’t matter that he’s your moms boyfriend, stop letting him near your child and if anyone objects to that cut them off for wanting a pedo near your child. Cut contact with your mom if she won’t break up with this dude and do NOT let her see your child until she does. I don’t know if it’s because you’re still unsure but it seems like you’re not taking this seriously enough. It’s only a short amount of time until something happens to your daughter if you don’t take action now. Protect your child and cut him off.
My mother married such a man. She had no clue. Never leave your child alone with him. Not even if she is there. Not for any amount of time. Not for any reason.
It really sounds like ‘baby’ grooming and suggest you trust your instincts. Sadly, never ask your mother to baby sit – he will turn up when you are not there to protect her.
Please don’t be ignorant and disregard his behavior. By not allowing him around your daughter, you can assure she won’t be a victim of molestation or worse.
Your gut/mommy instincts are right. Do not ignore it
This is extremely concerning regardless if he has a past record or not. I would keep contact extremely limited if i were you, not just from him but also your mother who doesn’t seem concerned at all about the safety of your child.
Well for starters don’t let your mom watch your daughter ever if your mom and her bf live together don’t spend time with her or visit her unless its outside of her home if she asks you why you won’t come over to her house tell her the truth.
You need to keep your kid away from this guy.
There’s a podcast called Hunting Warhead, which is all about how two journalists and the Australian federal police tracked down the guy running Child’s Play (one of the largest CP networks on the dark web at the time it happened). One of the people they interviewed was his cousin, who had two small children when he came to visit. She let him bathe them but said she was right there supervising and only stepped out of the room for a moment when her phone rang or something. That was all it took for him to take photos of the kids naked and >!perform or attempt (I can’t remember) oral sex on the toddler girl!<. The photos were later showed to the Mum by an investigator and all their lives fell apart as they had to go through the investigation.
My point is, it can only take a moment of not paying attention for predators to offend. They’re LOOKING for opportunities. And this guy is a walking red flag parade, holy shit.
If you have any weird feelings about him, don’t bring your daughter around him. Whether he’s a registered pedophile or not, literally who cares?
Keep your daughter away from him, he sounds dangerous. In fact, just stay away from him all together
Ok I used to work with abused kids. For over a decade. Listen to your gut. Don’t back down and cut out everyone who says you’re overreacting.
Trust your gut. Never leave home alone with that child. I also wouldn’t leave your child alone at their house or with your mom since she doesn’t seem to get it. If it were me, i wouldn’t bring her around him ever again.
Aaaand you need to cut him off. Now. Good moms don’t expose their girls to creepy old men who sexualize babies.