I’m interested in hearing from people who have changed their stance on having kids, and whether or not you have regrets.
For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted kids. I just saw myself as the kind of person who would be a great dad, and I genuinely enjoy being around children. However, I spent a long period of time in my early-mid 30s single. As I navigated through heartbreak and coming to terms with the idea of going through life unmarried and childless, I also picked up some new hobbies from which I found passion and fulfillment. At the same time, I finally got myself out of debt and into a great financial situation. Once I accepted being single and learned to embrace it, I first became content, and eventually genuinely happy.
Recently I have found myself in a relationship again. A few weeks back, she was late and we took an at-home test. While waiting on the results, I was inside my head praying that it would be negative. In those five minutes, I re-evaluated everything I thought I always wanted and realized how happy I am with the life that I have now. I’ll stop short of declaring myself committed to being child-free because I really never felt this way before, but I’m certainly heavily leaning towards not wanting kids now.
I’m worried I’ll come to regret this though, and it’s been weighing on me. Such a radical shift in my beliefs definitely warrants some careful contemplation. My girlfriend is on the fence, leaning more towards wanting kids someday, though as far as I can tell would be okay with not if I had a strong preference.
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My wife and I planned on having kids in 2020, then you know what happened and we decided to wait until a better time. While we waited we saw our friends and family with young kids just absolutely come unglued from being locked up with their brats. My sister called my wife in tears one night because she was so overwhelmed yada yada. We watched all that, saw what was happening to the economy, and saw that the world will never cooperate for the collective good. We decided not to produce any soldiers for the upcoming climate and water wars and I got snipped earlier this year. Best decision of my life.
Partner and I decided we didn’t want kids fairly early. I got the snip when I turned 30, and now that I’m 35 and the cost of living is skyrocketing, I can’t say I regret it one bit.
Ironically, I was the “maybe one day” person initially… even though people always say “what if your wife changes her mind??” They get confounded when I say she’ll have to find someone else to do it.