Single Men in Late 30’s. What’s your life like?

8 comments

1. I think your problem lays within the question. You’re trying to gauge what other people are doing to work out if you’re in a good or bad position.

   The real question is: how do you think you’re doing?

2. Same boat kinda 30M SWE live in quiet HCOL suburb in north Jersey, never been married. If I didn’t have a desire to have kids then I’d prolly not pursue long term partnerships.

   Seems you might have thoughts about fatherhood based on your question about nieces and nephews. I’d spend a lot of time asking yourself that.

   As for time, I’m still friends with all my hs and college buddies, yes a lot of them are married now but I don’t ever feel excluded or a third wheel. I have a lot of hobbies that take up my time outside of work, home cooking, tennis club, intramural sports, gym, traveling once a month event if it’s a road trip, shooting etc. as long as you invest in your hobbies and social life youll be fine.

   I honestly started looking at me being the “unmarried” friend as a pro socially. I can always say yes to things! And I can be the one to check in/up on people!

3. I have a few friends that are single on their 30’s. They can be recluse at times, but I always make sure to hang with them when I can (not married but have a gf myself). They seem to focus their life on job and their possible future as well, and they try new things and have found their hobbies as well by now.

   I think the biggest thing is, depending on your level of income, you can keep yourself pretty occupied with hobbies, be it, camping, woodworking, guitar, going deep into researching something completely new, etc. Finding like-minded people who are in a similar situation is vital, too. But don’t forget to rediscover yourself and have some fun when you can.

4. 43M, bachelor, no kids living in Alberta. My spare time is devoted to hobbies – working out, reading – and completing a degree. The satisfaction and contentment part is trickier, having a job you somewhat enjoy helps. I’m fairly introverted, but if I was more socially inclined I’d probably look to volunteer or join local clubs. I will admit I struggled with some regret about not getting married and having kids when I hit 40. I was confronted with the fact that my life does not really matter. You make peace with it and try to find joy in the little things. I look forward to my Saturday mornings spent at my local coffee shop reading a book before I hit up the local used book shop and farmers market. I look forward to dinners out with family or friends. I find satisfaction after a solid workout. Objectively, these are more trivial than the meaning derived from supporting a thriving family but it works. Retirement – who knows. My goal is to continue to look after my body and mind so I’ll be in good enough condition to enjoy it. The sex part I can’t help with, I decided on celibacy nearly six years ago for religious and moral reasons. I suspect if you’ve taken care of yourself, it won’t be a problem. I know lots of married guys who have dead bedrooms so partnership is no guarantee of intimacy.

5. Some answers to your questions & thoughts for your consideration:

   -I’ve made it a little past my 30s. From my 30s to now, my life has been ascending from good to amazing.

   -Yes, take advantage of the freedom you have and motivation you feel for moving to a place where the climate will help you be happy/feel alive for a greater portion of the year.

   Years ago, I tried living abroad in tropical climate, as I hate feeling cold (plus also wanted to learn a foreign language). The time abroad was one of the best experiences of my life, and the tropical climate showed me that I never want anything different. 👌🏾 Visiting wintry places is one thing, but I’m done living through seasons of winter weather.

   -As far as spare time… Aside from all the device screen activities like Reddit that we all love, most of my hobbies and interests revolve around the arts, or learning about things that fascinate me things, or studying things that help me be more awesome in life.

   Practicing acoustic guitar.

   Listening to an audiobook/podcast/whatever (I’m not a fiction guy – content is usually about personal growth/self improvement, leadership, building wealth, faith, et cetera).

   Hitting the gym (the treadmill is of course one good place for listening to the kinds of audios mentioned above).

   It’s always a beautiful thing when you have one or two like-minded male friends who are positive people… someone to go have a meal with, laugh and be ridiculous, and blow off steam after a long work week.

   Songwriting.

   Church-related activities.

   Journaling.

   Listening to a great album through big headphones that cover the whole ear (music listening like in the old days, before earbuds and playlists took over).

   Community involvement/volunteering – for me, it’s fun teaching English as a second language in the community, since I love teaching language and also love internationals.

   -Did I finally find satisfaction and contentment in life?

   I don’t know anyone that has a happier life than me.

   -How do I envision retirement years? Does looking at nephews or nieces bring any regrets?

   Just so happens I actually do believe I’ll get around to marrying someday… having kids eventually too.

   -Am I having enough sex?

   I have zero complaints about my outcomes in dating. It’s also true that I agree with those guys who say sex with woman after woman who you don’t really care about eventually becomes like glorified masturbation. So trying to take as many of them to bed as possible isn’t my thing. Sometimes there are instances of declining invitations too.

6. Not bad, married with two dogs no kids, house in California, workout 3-4 times a week and almost have some decent abs.. able to save a bit in my paycheck so I don’t live month to month achieved a goal of getting a promoted in IT, but another one wouldn’t hurt…

7. I’m 37 and I’ve been single for the better part of a decade.

   >How do you spend your spare time ?

   I like to make music, exercise and chill.

   > Did you finally find satisfaction and contentment in life?

   Some yeah. There have been quite a few problems, but those have nothing to do with being single/in a relationship.

   >How do you envision your retirement years?

   It’s hard to say. By then we’re likely going to be balls deep in a climate catastrophe, so who knows?

   >Are you having enough sex?

   Nope. Having sex isn’t really a priority for me when I’m single.

   >Does looking at your nephews or nieces brings any regrets?

   I don’t have any

8. I’m doing alright, hobbies and relaxing and work keep me busy enough. I enjoy having my time and space to myself.
   Sometimes I feel like ‘not as grown up as I should be’ when I’m this old and I get excited about playing a star wars video game, but I’m gonna enjoy what I enjoy.

   I do want to have that special someone to share life with. I could have been married to any number of women by now, but I want the relationship and everything (including the sex) to be really good.

   Kids are cute as hell, but I usually get tired of them after a day or two, so I’m not that bummed about not having them at the moment. I do get kind of scared of being alone when I’m older, and if I picture myself with kids that are starting to grow up and then I think of how much I would love them it seems like a big loss to have never had them.

   But then I think it seems kinda weird to create a life just to serve my own desire for love and connection.

   Good question btw. It’s good to talk and hear from you dudes. I don’t have the close friends I used to since I moved cities so I miss that alot.