A guide and a message to people who are being bullied for seemingly ‘no reason’. It’s all about respect.

Hello there, if you are being picked on or bullied for seemingly no reason at all, I think this may be of some help to you. I request you to read this through.

The thing is, there is indeed a reason for you being picked on, and that reason is, lack of respect. That is the primary thing that causes all of this. They do not look at you as equals, they think you are inferior to them, they think of you as below their level, as below them. This may seem obvious, but I want to explore the deeper reasons behind this.

Let me phrase all of this in points:

# 1.Introspection:

Can you remember a time when you yourself where mean to someone, and found them ‘worse’ than you and just were straight up insulting them? Try to remember a time like that. Let me give you my own example: When in 8th grade, there were 2 kids insulting another one, and the other kid wasnt saying anything. So I just joined in and started insulting him as well. (Even though it was only for 10 minutes, I feel regret for that.) Well, what I did was try to think, why, why did I actually go ahead and make that decision that he was below me, that it was morally okay to insult him? I think the reason is a lack of respect for him. Remember this as I move on to the next point.

# 2.Standard/Criteria of respect:

Almost everyone has a standard of who we respect and who we don’t. For example, right now, as I am, I do not think of anyone else as ‘below me’ or ‘worse’ than me. But I can do that, if someone ‘crosses a line’, or as I like to put it, breaks my criteria of respect.

My criteria of respect is simply do not insult me repeatedly. As long as no one is hurting or insulting me repeatedly, they have my full respect as a person. **That is the standard that almost every normal person actually holds.**

# 3. How the standard of respect relates to bullying:

Here is how this criteria of respect relates to bullying. Bullies in general, have a much much lower standard of respect than others. They do not respect anyone that seems like a ‘threat’ to them, they do not respect people who are not like them, and for many of these bullies, one of the largest ‘threats’ is someone who is willing to uphold their own standard of respect.

**Bullies think you are inferior and lower than them because they do not respect you as a result of their standards of respect being much different than normal.**

As for why their standards are different, I am not exactly sure, but it may be because of what they have learnt from their parents.

# 4.Back to point 1:

Why did I insult that kid? The reason is this:- My standards of respect were normal as well, I always looked to respect people rather than look for opportunities to put them down. However, when I entered 7th and 8th grade, I was picked on by the same kind of people I described in point 3. At that time, I was not as mature as I am today, so **I changed my standards of respect.** I tried to be more like them, and as a result of that, on that day, at that time, I made the decision that that boy was ‘lower’ than me.

# 5. How I improved:

During the coronavirus and isolation, I realised and came back to who I truly was a person and now I have the ability to stand up for myself and my standards of respect whenenver need be, while also at the same time, respecting everyone. I have sort of found a ‘balance’.

​

# 6.Conclusion which I want you to remember:

You are NOT actually inferior to anyone, you are not worse, you are simply a respectful person surrounded by disrespectful people, remember, they are NOT disrespectful because YOU have done something wrong. It is because their standards are much different and unpredictable.

What I want you to know is, why would you listen to someone who does not share the same Ideals of respect as you? Why would you want to listen to someone who is so fundamentally different from you that their behaviours are almost inhumane and unpredicatable? That is all I want you to know.

I hope this post has helped you in some way. I thought about all of this while stuck in traffic and felt like I needed to share this with you guys.