I am burnt out on OLD and am ready to make some first moves. This is a first for me.
I live near a fairly big City. Where are some places I can most likely meet available and relationship orientated men (preferably mid thirties to mid forties)
What are some good pick up lines or conversation starters? How can I tell if someone is available and interested in being “picked up”?
I thought possibly the gym but a guy friend told me most people want to be left alone there.
Many thanks đ
22 comments
I would skip the pick up lines, but commenting on something in the moment is my go to. Their drink, the bar/atmosphere, music, something they’re wearing (non-sexual), etc.
Then just go from there while trying to gauge their interest based on enthusiasm of response. If they give you one word replies or seem to be looking at everything but you…tell them to have a good night and move on. If they seem engaged, let the convo flow.
Skip the pickup lines. Honestly a genuine compliment and being upfront is enough to put you ahead of 95% of women to most men.
Check the wiki – this âwhere to meet people?â question comes up all the time. âRelationship orientedâ is not really the way peoples social lives sort themselves, so the men you meet will be a crapshoot in that department.
As for âpickup linesâ, how about justâŠsmiling and starting a friendly conversation? A pickup line is justâŠskeevy and kinda smacks of being desperate. And when has a pickup line ever actually worked on you? Personally, Iâm more likely to roll my eyes and walk away.
Just compliment the guy.
“Excuse, me I hope you don’t mind me saying, but that’s a really fun shirt you’re wearing. I’m Kate”
What a pretty smile you have! do you have a GF?
I found doing things at the same time consistently you build in some natural relationships – sp for example, going to the gym to scope for hotties isn’t great. But going to the gym and seeing the same person there every time you go, the first time you smile, the second time you… ask them how its going, and sort of build into a progression. If you see someone you think it cute and you smile and they don’t smile back, don’t go talk to them. I think you can sense the vibe if people want to be left alone.
If you are active, I think doing fitness things at the same time is great because you can build relationships that way. For example going to a yoga/spin class, going to the coffee shop afterwards to sit and read a book or something. Then you can start to see if there are any vibes or people that are consistently around that you are maybe interested in.
Don’t do what happened to me – I was eating lunch outside, and a woman casually walked up to my table, sat down opposite, and started a conversation as if we’d known each other for a while. My brain kinda shut down, I didn’t know how to handle it.
If I flip this coin what’s the chances of you getting head.
đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
Maybe you’ll have better luck with it
You don’t need a pick up line to be successful. Just make eye contact/smile, use a normal conversation starter, and go from there. I find the clichĂ© ones work fine:
* Waiting somewhere: “Are you doing anything fun the rest of the day?”
* At a bar: “Does this bar have a specialty drink?”
* At a brewery: “What is your favorite beer?”
* At the coffee shop: “What are you drinking? I like XXX any recommendations?”
* Someone walking their dog: “Cute dog, what is its name?”
Even if I am not interested in the person, I will have a polite conversation.
talked to a girl at the gym yesterday morning, just make sure its quick and effective. dont linger, drop the introduction, one compliment, and then ask if he/she would be interested in hanging out.
​
its worked twice for me now in the last 5-6 weeks, just dont be weird and respect that people are there to workout and dont waste time
>What are some good pick up lines or conversation starters?
“Are you a parking ticket? âCause youâve got âfineâ written all over you”.
Most big cities also have meet up singles groups. Search for one on Facebook or on MeetUp or even Google for one for your city. Typically limited only to singles or early dating stages
Oh, if you are a woman approaching a guy you can say anything and if he is available and interested it will work. Hell, he may even try to make himself available.
A month ago I was on a date at a Brazilian carnival and at the end of the night I had to settle up my bar tab. There were these two beautiful women at the bar and the prettier one said to me âare you going to buy us a drink or are we going to buy you a drink. â I was literally stunned. It took about 5 seconds before words would even come out of my mouth. I really liked the girl I was on a date with, so I had to just tell them that, but had I not been on a date that would have totally worked.
I donât know about pickup lines, but the art of flirtation is an important thing to research. A pickup line may be cheesy and may work, but itâs one aspect of flirtation IMO. This could be glancing at someone, playing with your hair, etc. (as other commenters recommended), but my recommendation is to think about âis this a conversation Iâd have with a friend or family memberâ or is it something more clearly indicative of interest in someone. Obviously the first little bit of the interaction may be things like âhi, my name isâŠâ, but a lot of people get hung up on the âare they flirting with me or just being friendlyâ bit.
As for locations, the gym can be tricky, but not everyone wants to be left alone. Itâs definitely a balancing act, but can be respectfully done. If there are any hobbies you have (maybe hiking, board games, or whatever) another idea is to find a local club that you can try. You may find a like minded person there. Bars are always hit or miss for finding relationship material. In my experience it is usually people looking for short term options instead of long term. You can get lucky though? Best of luck.
Respectably disagree with the folks here saying making any move to talk to a man will suffice.
I have terminal never-met-a-strangerism. I go through life chatting with strangers including but not limited to attractive guys. Having pleasant interactions with a stranger is definitely not enough. You know how often I get asked out? So infrequently itâs barely a blip on the radar. Which is fine. Thatâs just how I am so no skin off my nose. But itâs a good case study in simply breaking the ice not being enough.
Youâre going to have to do everything short of say âI am interested in you, potentially romantically. Letâs go on a date. D A T E. Here is my number. Letâs go to x restaurant at y time on a day.â Just keep that in mind instead of getting discouraged by leading a horse to water and that horse not drinking.
Figure out your exit strategy if you want to talk to him again. Youâll probably be the one having to make moves to continue contact.
“Hello”
Pickup lines have not gotten me any luck at all. It’s just not genuine conversation. They always feel weird, because they are. The best examples that turned into genuine conversation and dates for me:
Good evening X, how did your weekend treat you? (On a sunday night)
Hi X, what’s the latest thing you’ve written outside if work that you’re proud of? (Person with a Grad degree in creative writing)
Hi X, 30s, no kids and dont want them, we’re like unicorns, lol.
Women who message me:
Hey
Hi
Hey
Hey
If it’s a bar, “what’s good here?”
If it’s pretty much any other situation, “are you a big fan of ____?”
Ask him for assistance.
Stores are great places.
Thank him, then ask his name.
See if it flows.
If it does ask if he is single.
If he is
Ask if he would be interested in coffee or lunch
If he’s not single just smile and so sad
Baby, we’re nachos cuz I’m cheesy and you’re hot and we belong together
UPS store a week ago. I see a cute guy in line and decide to make a move.
– I have the same blender, itâs great. Why are you returning it?
– My wife doesnât like it
This is precisely why I donât start conversations in public places with men. Happens way too often.
i say this all the time. but ask about pancakes.
its a good segway into a date.
“do you like pancakes?” “oh only waffles?” “pshhh i know this place with amazing pancakes, if im wrong you can take me to get waffles”
​
its a simple and innocent ice breaker. its a morning ish date so no real threat of something bad happening, it opens up a convo for you two to get to know eachother. its a playful tease/flirt topic.
its worked for me 4/4 times.
all 4 times i realized me and said girl didnt really match up (trump supporter, mormon, wanted more kids, and didnt like that i had kids) but as far as getting the foot in the door?
worked everytime.