My wife decided to use a lot of our money to buy something I didn’t agree on.
Our deal should be that we both need to agree to spend on things that cost a lot. Both of us work and we see all money as our money .
She usually doesn’t care about this rule. It sucks and has caused us financial problems. She has said that she will get better at listening to me and respect my no. I respect her no too.
But this time she didn’t care that I said no repeatedly. She just laughed it off and said she would fulfill several sexual fantasies I have.
I knew it would not happen. She keeps saying it even though she already bought the thing (a spa). Nothing has happened yet. She says she will do it but honestly I don’t think I want it .
She says she is going to swallow my cum which I would love but knowing that it’s just because of what she bought makes it less desiring for me.
It just sucks that she gets to do this and I just stand here and feel like a disrespected fool.
We barely use the spa. Who has time with kids around all the time?
It doesn’t even look good where it is.
45 comments
No. Why would you do it if she doesn’t like you for who you are? That’s not a marriage, and where does it end? In my experience, the bar always moves in tit-for-tat arrangements.
Yeah ew. Hard to be sexually vulnerable and excited about someone you don’t really trust. And financial trust is super important. She has no respect for you or the family goals.
Yeah that’s super icky.
Gross. I wouldn’t want to do something with my wife that she didn’t want to do.
Also, it doesn’t solve the issue, which is that you guys don’t align financially and you have financial issues.
You have to solve that core issue, not mask over it with pseudo-prostitution.
This is exactly what happened to my brother in law. They were high school sweethearts, he deployed once while they dated and she cheated then but he wouldn’t believe anyone. Fast forward, they get married, have a child and he needs to deploy again…
There was not a single dime left of the deployment money, and he makes good money..
When people tell you who they are, believe them. She will run you into the ground.
The first mistake is thinking that « all money is our money » You should be taking financial charge of your wife completely with your income alone Then she can buy wtv she wishes with her money, in this case a spa
Using sex for money is prostitution. Your wife doesn’t respect you. Separate your bank account from hers. She is using the crap out of you.
Everything about that makes me uncomfortable.
I’d consider leaving someone who acted this way.
Your marriage has bigger problems in it than your cum being swallowed.
I think you need help, sounds like actions an addict would take to get their next fix. See if you can rescue it with counselling. Is my view. Else you are going too loose it all.
Let her swallow and see how it feels first. You may change your mind.
We’ve def traded sex for favors in my house 😅 it’s usually baby related favors though. My husband wanted to join me in the shower for sexy time but I was exhausted. He offered putting the baby to sleep so I could go straight to bed. Offer accepted.
I would get a separate accounts so she doesn’t mess up in the future.
Have bring home a girlfriend to play with in the spa.
I don’t know why you would want to be married to this kind of person.
I personally would be mad……any purchases over $200 are a discussion in my house.
Id sell the spa….
This whole thing is fucked up. Financial fidelity is as important as physical and emotional fidelity.
I’d be talking to an attorney. Hopefully she can live in that spa.
Didn’t you post this a month or so ago? I’m taking it that nothing has changed and you’re still looking for validation from reddit on what to do.
Take it from someone who gets nothing from his spouse. I would split the account, give her “x” amount of dollars a month and let her swallow and take it every which way you fantasize about…always two sides of how to look at this.
So you want your wife to be a prostitute?
Definitely buying something that stays around the house and is big enough for everyone to see has to be a joint decision.
She gets to do this because you let her.
Don’t like it? Don’t let her.
You are not a passenger in your life. Unless you want to be
It may be a fetish she has. Ask her
So she doesn’t follow through with Consulting you as you said. She’s already done this multiple times and caused financial issues, then promises you things yet never follows through on them. I have to say she definitely does not respect you or care what you have to say and is going to do what she wants to do anyway. And you’re letting her. My husband wouldn’t even want to be with me, if I was spending $$ after he didn’t agree on it, then said I’d do sexual things with no follow through.
Technically that is what a marriage is.
Sex should be something enjoyed by both, not some reward mechanism. you should opposed to her way of thinking
Yeah…marriage isn’t transactional man.
Damn.
So you are vulnerable with COMMUNICATING your fantasies and she then manipulated you by weaponizing sex in trade for monetary gain.
She made you into a customer in your own home.
I wouldn’t even ask for a therapist. This is straight disrespectful and there is nothing she can say or do to make me believe she is an person who should even be a wife let alone a good one.
You have other problems than that, and financial trust is a big deal.
treating sex like a reward is something abusive women usally do. You aren’t a dog
Wait. Why are reposting as the husband. Your previously deleted post you called yourself the wife. And I noticed you’ve not deleted the old account.
Weird troll post
Maybe she’s thinking of all the good sex you’ll get once the spa comes in. She’s looking at it as a win-win?
Just curious. What does bought a spa mean. Did she buy a business?
Is this post some sort of submissive fetish?
Seriously, go to marriage counseling and learn how to set boundaries.
These are rules you actually agreed together or are they your rules that she’s not obeying?
It doesn’t sound like she takes them very seriously which is either because she has an issue or because it’s not her rule. Is she kidding about paying in sex or is it serious? Kidding could be fun. Serious is… uh. Yuck.
We don’t have rules on each other’s spending because we’re both responsible adults who make our own money and we both make sure the necessities are paid for. It works for us. I guess that’s the trick. Whatever the agreement is has to work for both of you. It feels like this one doesn’t.
Sex shouldn’t be relationship currency. She is in the wrong and not respecting you as a PARTNER. Might be time to separate some $$ to keep her from doing something like this again.
Whether or not she finally decides to swallow, you need to address the lack of respect in your relationship.
Jesus.
I swallow cum at least once a week for funsies.
I can get spas?
So a transactional relationship. That won’t work long term.
NEVER!!!! Just NEVER!!!!
I would also add. I would consider this financial infidelity. Your wife has zero, ZERO respect for you.
No.
Sex isn’t her giving u something. Sex a handshake. Both hands shaking.
She doesn’t respect u.
U let this go then she will just do it again and not have sex with u until she wants something.
Hell yes..deal with it
Keep thinking with your third eye… long term success
Someone explain the Spa to me??