I (24F) have started seeing this guy (24M) since the start of November, as soon as I moved to a big new city.

After 1 month we said we like each other. At the 3 month mark we agreed to be exclusive (even though neither of us has been seeing anyone else since we started seeing each other at the start of November). We’ve met each other’s friends, our families know of one another, and we have deleted dating apps from our phones.

At the 5.5 month mark, I brought up the “where’s your head at” conversation because I felt like we had gotten a lot closer and more comfortable with each other over the past month and, truthfully, I have really fallen for him and wanted to make things official. He said that he likes me and cares for me and enjoys spending time with me, but that his feelings “aren’t as strong as they should be after 5.5 months” and so he is not ready to make things official. He also said that if I want a relationship now then he doesn’t want to hold me back. I massively downplayed how I feel and said I’m not bothered about the title for now and want to continue seeing each other to see what happens. I know objectively that probably wasn’t the right move, but I have really fallen for him and the hopeless romantic within me is holding onto hope that it’ll end up in a relationship. A few weeks after we had the chat, he invited me to watch the boxing fight with his friends (some of whom I’ve never met before), so that seems like a good sign?

Idk I guess I’m just asking for the advice of a stranger to give an opinion on my situation. Am I an idiot for sticking around?

(P.S. I know I am to an extent but it’s hard to walk away from something that’s good, especially as I’ve really fallen for him :/)

3 comments
  1. Time to walk. The 1-8 months is the ‘infatuation’ stage of relationships. Where the highest level of attraction. If he tells you he doesn’t feel strongly about you at 5 months, it’s bad. This is where he’s supposed to be completely in love. So he’s never going to grow in love after this point.

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