I know its horrible. My bf left his account with me cause he doesn’t really care and says he trusts me. One day I got curious if he talks about me with his family so i snooped at his convos and searched my name. At first it was just innocent snooping where I found out when he had a crush on me and what he thought about me when we were dating. Then I found his convo with his ex. His ex has a baby now (no baby daddy) and he still keeps connected to her cuz apparently she still owes him money and they broke up in good terms. I know its not right but i started reading their messages like the psycho I am. They were in love.. like really in love. My bf was so sweet he gave her flowers took her on fancy dates. Don’t get me wrong he’s still sweet to me but… he never really gave me flowers and took me on fancy dates cuz by the time I met him he was struggling financially because of his dad’s illness. I remember him saying that he had more money back then because his expenses wasn’t that high. I understand that truly I do but… seeing him like that with his ex just pinched my heart a little. I also read about some of their dates that was similar to ours. Same place, same activities. I then searched the convo where they broke up so that I can get rid of my jealousy. From what I got the ex was struggling financially and broke up with my bf because its becoming too stressful for them. My bf agreed but they still loved eachother. They still kept chatting eachother after that like saying good morning, asking how their day was and such. Particularly I saw a chat where the ex said “I love you, I really do but the time right now is too stressful for us. Someday when we both are ok lets get back together. Our love wont die just because we’re not with eachother” then my bf agreed. Well that didn’t resolve my jealousy issue lol.
I know I was wrong for snooping and its my fault but I can’t help but feel sad. All this time my bf kept telling me im the best gf ever and that Im the only one he loves and will someday marry me.. he already said that to his ex as well. He’s as sweet guy he really is and Im now just realizing that no matter who his partner is he’s just really a sweet guy. Idk if that makes sense. I thought our relationship was special and he was treating me that way cause Im me and I can give him a connection he can’t have with anyone else… but it turns out he is just really like that.
I just feel so down and so insecure. If i had the chance to go back I wouldn’t have snooped at all. What should I do? Should I talk to him and admitted that I snooped or should I just keep it and accept?
And pls don’t lecture me anymore about the snooping I know I was wrong I was being stupid.
1 comment
I learned, to my own detriment, that you shouldn’t ask questions that you don’t want to hear honest answers to. For example, if I were to ask my GF if I was the best in bed that she ever had, I would need to be okay possibly hearing that I wasn’t….not something that is going to benefit me in any way. By snooping you essentially did the same thing, you asked is this the best relationship that he’s ever had. You got an answer you didn’t like, but also learned something valuable….about life and about him. He seems to be a good man who treats his women well, that’s a good thing. You also learned that you should ask questions if there is one one answer that you’ll be okay with. The fact is that many of us could have long term successful and happy relationships with many other people…the idea of “the one” is pretty much a fantasy in my opinion. Enjoy the man he is and leave the past where it belongs.