My ex (34m) and I (34f) dated for about 9 months and a couple months after we broke up I reached out to him for a hook up because I was lonely and horny. He didn’t hesitate at all and came right over. Now it’s over a year later and we still hook up about once a week. He’s usually the one who initiates our “dates” now.
I do not have any interest in starting a relationship with him again and as far as I know, he doesn’t either. We broke up for a reason and that hasn’t changed. The sex is fantastic and I am insanely attracted to him, I just don’t know how to say no.
I guess I’m just looking for some objective advice about the situation. I’ve never had a FWB relationship that’s lasted this long before and I’m not sure it’s healthy to keep it going.
Thoughts, please?
11 comments
I don’t see a problem with it to be honest!
Is it possible for you to give us more context?
What is the reason you broke up?
Why does it feel wrong?
Why do you want to say no?
Obviously your desire to have sex is greater than wanting to say no, as long as feelings arent returning then I dont see an issue here?
Not technically a problem if you’re both fine with it, but definitely cut it off before you want to date other people. I would never go out with someone who was still banging their ex, or even recently banging their ex
I don’t see and issue, but long term if one person ends up wanting more and the other doesn’t then someone will get hurt. As long as you’re both aware of that risk then it’s fine
Just go with it & have fun 🍑
What are your long-term goals regarding partnership? If you don’t have any, absolutely keep going if it makes you feel good.
If you are hoping to meet someone else long-term, end this. Yes it’s only once a week, but that’s once a week you could be making connections with other people, who can connect you to more people to eventually help you find someone you’re crazy for whose life goals align with yours.
You both are getting what you need. Enjoy the journey
If you’re both happy that’s all that matters.. but I’d make sure you’re getting tested regularly since you’re engaging in NSA sex.. there’s a chance he’s hooking up with other people also.
If sex is great then its beautiful..but be very clear with him that your relationship is just limited to sex.. and find a some great works in your life.. and make busy yourself in it.. when you are busy you will not get horny much and while doing work if you get any great person make a new relationship…this will end the old one..
It depends on what your long term relationship goals are. If you prefer to stay single, this could be a good arrangement: sexually monogamous, good availability, and no commitments.
Otoh if you want to move on and establish an emotionally intimate relationship with someone (else), then your FWB is an impediment, and you should find a way to reach closure and move on.
Some of the best sexual relationships in my life came from this exact scenario. I had three different long term (like, 5-10 years long term) FWBs who I had previously dated. The sex was great, and we were able to really relax and have fun together and be ourselves without any of the relationship stress. We’d all date other people in between, but whenever the stars aligned and and we were single at the same time, we’d get together again. Was great.