Is “losing interest” an actual thing?

5 comments

1. Yes, people can lose interest.

   Think about all the divorces, break ups, short lived flings, etc. that occur over the years.

   Attraction and interest in someone romantically, sexually, etc. is often times largely circumstantial and relative to whatever people are going through or feeling about themselves or where their careers are at or what emotional state they are in, etc.

   People can get involved and be together for years and never consider it serious and know they’ll eventually want to move on.

   People can meet someone and think they’re experiencing love at first sight and then be over the whole thing by the end of the night, through no fault of the other person, just that that initial spark of interest waned.

   There are people other humans have an urge to be physically intimate with but if it happened only once or a few times, they’d be satisfied and move on.

   There are people we never even consider romantically or sexually for years and years and they’re just an acquaintance or a friend or even a frenemy and then they connect or share a moment at just the right time and sparks fly and they’re together the rest of their lives, or for a few years or a few months.

   Or there are people who never want to commit to each other but their urges for one another come and go.

   I’d say think about romantic and sexual desire like food:

   Sometimes you crave a certain food or drink and then you get as much of it as you want and then you become sick of it. Or you get a small taste of it and you’re satisfied. Or you sample it and you’re satisfied. Or you try some and you realize it’ll be a regular go to food item the rest of your life. Or you know you’ll probably want some of it every single day, almost invariably.

   That’s how attraction works.

   There are people someone might be obsessed with but if they got a chance to be with that person, they’d lose interest. There are people we are steadily and consistently attracted to for our entire lives.

   It’s why romance is called chemistry. It’s not an exact science. It’s more fluid.

2. Yes. The physical attraction might still exist, but the emotional attraction can disappear.

3. Yes. There are stages to relationships people tend to ignore or just not realize. You fall in love, then you get used to being with each other and it then starts to feel like work (people get divorced during this phase because they didn’t take the time to make sure about who they were marrying) and if you tough through it, you fall in love again.

   But on the other hand people like me have to be extra careful in relationships because of mental issues like depression or type 2 bipolar disorder. Losing interest just happens out of the blue and it is complete crap, can be anything – Job, favorite tv show, sex, your cat, your family, even your partner.

   Being patient truly is a virtue if you do not rush anything and learn to enjoy being single no one is getting hurt in the waiting, and when/if it does happen you can then cherish it more.

4. Oh absolutely! As a couple keeps getting to know each other, you start seeing their real personality, their flaws, any bad habits, etc.

   Maybe you liked them at first but after getting you know them really well, you start seeing red flags 🚩

5. Attraction comes from someone feeling a certain way towards you, and when these emotions aren’t sparked enough over time, this is when it just ends up fizzling out.