My bf (22m) goes golfing 3-4 times a week. I’ve (22f) brought up to him how I feel that we aren’t spending enough time together, but his excuse is that we do (the do in question is, hang out for an hour or two and watch tv) and that I’m needy for asking for such a thing. I slept over Thursday night, and Friday I expected us to (how stupid of me!) spend the day together, but he’s already called before I wake up to make a tee time for that afternoon. Am I crazy for feeling like he doesn’t want to spend time with me? He seems more excited to golf than do anything with me. After explaining how I feel on that Friday, he says let’s do something nice on Sunday. Says he needs to be home by 1 tho (tells me the following day after making plans). Why do you need to be home? Tee time. We fought about it Saturday night, and he said that when we do have a family/life together I’m going to be a nightmare. That Saturday night ended with me saying I’ll just shut up about it. Because my love for him (unfortunately) is more than the pride I have in being right. I just want him to see eye to eye with me, understand what I’m saying. But every time I say something, it either doesn’t make sense to him or goes in one ear out the other. After “making up” (me succumbing to him) I told him how what he said hurt my feelings (how I’m going to be a nightmare), he proceeded to say “harsh truth”. I don’t know if I am going crazy or if I need to break up with him. Help
4 comments
He is being completely clear and transparent about his priorities and his feelings. It sounds completely at odds with what you want. So I’m not understanding your question — why wouldn’t you break up with him?
He knows what he wants. He knows what is more important to him. And sorry hun. It’s not you.
You can either accept it and love him for him. Or it’s time to break up and find someone who wants to be with you more.
As someone who is newly enrolled in golfing, I get the appeal, it’s fun. But…he’s chosen golf before you.
I would have told you to talk to him but you already did that and nothing has changed. Break up.
Quality time is an important love language
If he’s consistently disregarding this aspect of intimacy against your spoken needs it might be time to consider looking for a new partner who genuinely listens to your needs and desires and genuinely wants make time in his calendar for sharing time together. Otherwise what’s the point of a relationship if you’re not spending loving quality time together