So I haven’t seen my (38m) girlfriend (28f) for over ten days, she only lives 20mins down the road and I don’t see her as often as I’d like. She has a child and I understand that he is her priority and it makes seeing her less easy. I’m prepared to go out of my way basically at any time to see her when I can. She’s cancelled a quite a few dates in the past which I’ve been ok with.
A couple of weeks ago things changed. She wanted to go back to the ‘fun’ part of the relationship and away from the serious. I was ok with that as there were some weird revelations with her behaviour (long story) but she said ‘fun but serious’ whatever that means. We made plans for her to stay at mine for the first time (I’ve stayed at hers every time) and her mum was going to babysit. I was looking forward to going out on Friday with her for some quality time but she cancelled on me Monday saying the reason was she didn’t have any money. I said we could do things cheap and I have money so don’t worry. She then didn’t text back all week.
This made me anxious and wondering what we actually are, whether I should waste any more time on this girl if I can never see her. Also the previous revelations basically outlaw any real long term future between us. I couldn’t take the unanswered questions so I text and asked how she was and if I’d see her this weekend. She said ‘not this weekend but let’s wait till next weekend’ now I can’t go that long without seeing her and there’s a high chance she would simply just cancel again. I said I would come to hers but she came up with a number of excuses why I couldn’t. We’ve left things on she ‘might’ be able to come to mine tomorrow depending on what her mum says (although the original plan was that her mum would babysit and she’d stay over at mine)
I’ve said ‘I feel like I’m an option to you and I’m worth more than this – but I would still love to see you tomorrow. If I don’t see her tomorrow would I be being unreasonable to just call the whole thing off?? I feel my sanity has suffered from this and I don’t think this relationship is meeting my needs. I guess it’s a heart and your head sort of situation here.
2 comments
You’re not being unreasonable at all. If she wanted to see you, she would figure it out. You’ve offered to go to her, work around her schedule, find something that won’t cost a lot of money, etc. You’re bending over backwards for someone who won’t lift a finger for you.
If she wanted to, she would find a way to see you especially since she hasn’t seen you in 10 days. Seems like she really doesn’t want a relationship, she is confused, or she is seeing someone else. I would bring it up in a text or a phone call. Your feelings are 100% valid and you have a right to be heard. Good luck!