so my gf 22f has the highest ego compared to everyone i know. one time she spilled some ice cream on my car and blamed it on how stressed she is thats why she spilled it and by some unholy things i was the one who apologized for spilling ice cream on my car. this is just one of the examples on how even the smallest things she does wrong somehow she manages to never apologize FIRST i sometimes have to tell her like ” do you have something to say to me” just to get an apology from her and sometimes she would even roll her eyes while saying sorry. this has been going on for 3 years now she was not like this before i really dont know what happend to her. all this i could ignore but sometimes it just hurts that if we have an argument even knowing she also did something wrong she would rather say ” lets cool off ” or ” i dont want this anymore ” lines with me when i just want a meaning full apology from her. tbh it hurts and sometimes i would just ride my bike to play video games to get rid of the pain but it would be nice and mean alot to me if she showed genuine empathy towards the things she has done. it just sucks shes fun and loving when were okay but sometimes i question her love for me when shes mad because she always threatens to leave me and i end up saying sorry just to stop us from arguing. this is more than a rant now LOL i just dont have anyone to talk about our relationship because everyone takes her side because to their eyes she is this sweet loving person which she is, but never takes the blame or she never wants to say sorry AT ALL. any advice ? how do i deal with this? and to the women out there can someone enlighten me whats going on with her? thank you
4 comments
This isn’t an ego issue, she’s stubborn.
Have you told her, outside of an argument situation, how it makes you feel when she’s like this?
Don’t take things personally.
Whatever she says or does, she does it because of her own internal world that you have no idea about as long as she doesn’t let you in. And it’s okay if she doesn’t let you in at all, you don’t have to be privy to her entire mind to love her. Know that when she is angry or stubborn or egotistical with you, she does it because she feels the need to be that way.
This will help you with your mindset, but what about her behaviour, what can you do to help that?
That’s quite a lot more difficult and I am not fully equipped to give you an absolute advice. But I would say no one does, so, here is what I would do:
When she spilled the ice-cream, I wouldn’t ever apologise to her. But just ask her to be more careful. It’s just ice-cream, it can be cleaned. Though if she’s acting too egotistical, I’d probably be a little playful, ask if she’s in the mood to be treated like a princess or something, and be a little more corny, maybe cook or bake something for her if she says yes, She is indeed in the mood.
This way, I’m carefree and happy to spend time with her regardless of unpleasant events, she may be feeling some displeasure and that may be alleviated… When it’s all done, at the end of the day, I’d bring up the ice-cream again and ask her to be more careful, and ask if she felt sorry for it at all. If she didn’t feel sorry **at all**, then that girl is not human. She is lacking very basic emotions and you probably shouldn’t be with her. If she does feel sorry, just let her get away with it.
The playfulness and the flirting and the “game” of it all is a good trick. Women like playing games, just not video games a lot of the time, so play with them whenever you can. Make sure there are no hostilities afterwards though.
Ignore her. Blow her off. Don’t even react when she tries acting out. Threatens to leave? Don’t say a thing. Gets all pissy? Don’t even react. She’ll stop this shit quick.
She just sounds like she’s incredibly high maintenance. You are asking for advise on how to deal with this, but why would you want to? Just dump her