When my sister (currently 14F) and I (16F) were younger and would misbehave, our dad would sometimes act violently. The earliest time I can remember is him punching a hole in the wall because he was angry with us (we were probably 3 and 5 at most at the time.) Then, when we were around 6-9 and 8-11, he would pull our hair when we wouldn’t do something and either threaten or actually “smack us upside the head” when we did something wrong. One time when I was probably 11 he also threw my tablet (that I bought) down the stairs and broke it because he was mad at me, but he bought me a new one after.
He hadn’t done any of that in years, but whenever we have brought it up he denies it was abusive or that it even happened, and one time he said “and I’ll do it again”. Also, everytime he gets mad at me I feel like he might do that again. He has never apologized for any of this. We have also talked to our mom about it, but she denies that she even knew it was happening, even though we both recall her being there when it did.
Anyways, I have a good relationship with my parents, and I know they’re a lot better than many parents out there. But sometimes I just think about what my dad used to do and it’s upsetting. Would it be considered abusive?
Also should I bring this up to my therapist or something?
TLDR: my dad used to pull my and my sister’s hair, and smack us upside the head when we misbehaved, would this be considered abusive?
1 comment
He definitely had anger issues if he punched holes in walls and threw things. But the hair pulling and popping would probably come down to the force used. It’s like spanking. Some call spanking abuse while others don’t.