She does go down on me from time to time but it’s usually just to get me hard and very bland. I know porn has ruined it for me so I don’t hold it against her but I do want a porn style bj to the point where I’m thinking of how I can get one elsewhere which sucks cause I don’t want to cheat on her. I have talked about what I want but it never translates to the moment. I would show her a video but she is prude when it comes to porn to the point where I hide that I watch it (but she knows). Our sex life is otherwise very good. Please give me some advice or talk me into my senses.
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If you don’t want to cheat on her, don’t. Pretty easy.
If getting a bj is so important you cant be with her, then divorce her and go find someone else. There is no good reason to cheat if you arent a piece of shit.
be grateful shes even doing it. the last few girls ive been with havent been that good either, seems dry and wont take it in throat so barely gets the head in. just like you I tried to give pointers and show porn but they value the gag reflex more.. so.. 2 out of 3 holes aint bad.
Keeping in mind that all statistics are made up, I’d say that only about 30% of the women I have been with have given good head.
It all seems to come down to preference. Some women truly enjoy giving head. It is really easy to tell the difference between someone who enjoys what they are doing, and someone who is just doing something because they feel obligated to do it.
I would say an additional 40% of the women I was with simply refused to give head or did not want to give head.
At this point in my life I have come to accept that I am never going to find a partner who is into doing everything I am into. And conversely, I am never going to be the kind of partner who enjoys everything that my partner wants me to do with her.
That just seems to be how it is. You have been married for 20 years at this point. It is too late to tell you to find someone who is into enough of what you are into that you two can look forward to having lots of fun with each other for as long as you are together.
You asked people to talk some sense into you. I will try to do that. Don’t be the idiot who blows up an otherwise good relationship over whether or not you’re getting your dick sucked.
A lot of wives don’t give blow jobs or put in much effort. She obviously doesn’t enjoy it and doesn’t want to do it. If she won’t watch porn, she doesn’t even know how bad she is at it. I think you should try one more time to tell her calmly how much you would enjoy if she would try this one thing for you, and show her an example from porn that is illustrative. Do you also give her oral until she cums? What else do you do that drives her crazy sexually?
As a general advice, whatever you see in porn almost always looks way better than it actually is. A sloppy blowjob does feel really good for most, but the first time will probably be a disappointing experience considering what you will be expecting.
Also, have you tried to direct her at the moment? It might work better. I am understanding from your post that she never said she was against doing it, just that she didn’t really do. If she did say she didn’t want, asking at the time will probably be a moody killer.
I need you to purchase a dildo about the size of your penis and give it the exact sloppy head you’re expecting. Chances are you’ll find it’s a lot more painful and gag-inducing than you thought.
Say things like faster… slower…. Harder… softer… moan and grunt when it does feel good… or take her head and move her how you want … don’t be afraid to try something new it may be just what she needs to get turned on and get into it more 😉
If she hates porn don’t show it to her- it might be better to use words to tell her what you want. Basically you want her to act like she’s ravenously enthusiastic for your cock and get it nice and sloppy… so let her know.
As an older guy with a number of long term girlfriends, I can’t remember any that “improved”their oral skills or technique. Whatever they were doing when things first got comfortable-is what they were doing a year or two later-or less.