So, I’m in a friend group and it’s 5 of us. 3 guys, 2 girls. I consider us to be good friends and we spend a lot of time together. When we hang out, one of my friends in the group sometimes brings the energy down. When we go out for dinner or grab a drink, sometimes, he’s very social and talks alot. Sometimes, he just sits there and plays games on his phone and doesn’t interact with the rest of the group. Or sometimes, he’ll start off talking and being social and just out of nowhere goes mute and stops talking entirely. He’s always been like this, but as of late, it’s gotten worse. It’s also important to note that when he gets like this, he radiates negative energy. When you try to include him in conversation, he gets annoyed and just gives off the vibe that he doesn’t wanna be there. Him and his gf are in this friend group, so idk if he comes to hang out regardless of how he feels because he feels like he has to be with her, but regardless of the reason, this behavior is rude.He doesn’t like to have in depth conversations and doesn’t talk about anything personal or emotional. I’ve had convos with him in the past about his behavior but it’s literally like talking to a brick wall. His gf tries to make light of his behavior, but it’s still annoying. Last time we hung out, he completely shut down and didn’t speak during our 2 hour hang out. When it was time to say bye and go our separate ways, he didn’t even say bye. He just turned his back and walked, leaving his gf to say bye to us and having to run to catch up to him. Terrible friend right? Am I wrong for honestly not wanting to be around this behavior anymore and to just completely disassociate myself from him? What would you do? I mean, me and him are friends but as of late, it doesn’t seem like it anymore.
5 comments
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So odd. Can see why you would be uncomfortable. Could it be attention-seeking behavior, like he’s trying to tell you all something but is afraid to say it? Could he be trying to act cooler than he actually is? Could he be autistic? Drawing at straws here.
I don’t think it makes him a terrible friend. Why does it bother you so much? No one else seems to care.
Just ignore him as he does to the whole group. Don’t let his attitude bring you down. He doesn’t want to engage in a conversation then don’t engage him. Maybe he does it to get a rise out of you since it bothers you so much. Don’t let it bother you.
My boyfriend is more social than me and in the past I used to tag along with him and our friends while I clearly just wanted to spend some time alone with him. Unintentionally, that made me a bit pissy in the company. Could be that reason. His gf is more social than him but he doesn’t want to be alone at home and so he feels like he also has to attend while he doesn’t enjoy it as much. This disappeared for me after settling in the relationship. But It was hard to admit so maybe he doesn’t even know something is wrong yet, just feels icky in company and doesn’t know why.