We have been married for almost 2 years. I was at the water park with him and my kids and he told me to look at something and I turned where I thought he was pointing and he thought I was checking out another man. So we left the park and he started calling me an idiot and yelling and screaming at me in front of the kids. I yelled “stop cursing at me!”
He made get out the car and said “I’ve lost your mind yelling at me!”
I got out the car in my wet swim clothes and started walking down the street crying
He came back for me and told me to get in the car or he was gonna divorce me.
I got back in and he started saying I wanted attention from other men and I’m thirsty that’s why I did. But I honestly was just looking where I thought he pointed.
lam just at a total loss and I’m mad and sad and so confused
TL/dr- my husband left me on the side of the road
35 comments
You are in an abusive relationship. I’m not being hyperbolic here, the way he is treating you is abominable. Please look into domestic violence resources near you and get help.
This can not be the first time something like this happened.
What you have to decide is: how acceptable was this?
Was it not acceptable at all? Say nothing until you’ve had a chance to talk to a divorce lawyer. Was it acceptable exactly once, if he apologizes? Let him know a repeat is the end of your marriage and that you want couple’s counseling so you can learn to resolve conflict better. Is this something you’re not willing to divorce over if it’s even repeated? You can try to push for counseling, but you have no real leverage if he refuses to change, so if he decides he’s just going to treat you this way sometimes you can’t really do anything about it.
This all happened in front of your kids? As a mother you can’t accept that.
Yes, this is quite an abnormal incident for something so small. Divorce will be rough for the kids, but children are more open to change than adults think. It’ll be more stable for everyone in the long run to divorce. I’m sorry things are so freakish for you right now.
You’ve said in other comments that you know this marriage is over and I am so relieved to hear you say that. This behaviour is so upsetting and not okay. Good for you for putting the best interests of your kids and yourself ahead of maintaining the status quo.
He did this in front of your kids? He has most definitely caused them trauma and they will never look at him the same.
You should have said “too late, I’m divorcing you.”
You probably felt this coming, he’s probably been doing other stuff that made you wonder. Tomorrow start making a plan on how you end this relationship. Don’t engage in his fights, he’s not interested in your opinion, he already has decided his stance and you won’t get any clarification that will help you feel better.
Involve relatives and friends. If necessary, do reach out to the National Abuse Hotline or a DV shelter, they can give you some guidance on how you can leave safely.
Wishing you all the good things, OP.
You cannot allow that to happen in front of your kids, or to you. Period. It’s extremely traumatic for kids. Get them out of this situation. Immediately.
Sorry to say, but he sounds kind of abusive
That is absolutely horrific. Nothing you could possibly have done warranted that behavior. I hope you have a very good divorce lawyer.
The fact he did this (especially in front of your kids) is unforgivable. Leave, not only for your sake but also for your children. If you don’t, they could grow up thinking this behaviour is normal in a relationship.
That sounds like a guy who is cheating projecting his guilt on you hard.
I would have straight up told him to get the papers and show me where to sign. I’d be done. There’s no coming back from that.
They are your kids, not his kids ?
Just curious cause if so that should be added into the equation .
.since you have been married 2 years and have kids old enough to go to a water park I assume they are not his kids
You need to protect your children from examples like this. Pack their bags, pack a bag for you, and go stay with family if you can.
Your husband’s behavior was psychotic.
Your husband sucks. Dump him.
He sounds very abusive. Emotionally and mentally. Although you have kids, you’ve only been married for 2 years. And just remember, you have the power to leave too.
Are you a lot younger than your husband ?
With everything you’ve posted, he sounds abusive. Get a plan together, get help, and leave
Please please gtfo. Years ago my ex husband and I told our nephews and niece we’d take them to see the new SpongeBob Movie. My sister called me as we were driving to the theatre and I turned the volume down a bit as she has a loud talking voice. My ex lost his $hit. He flew into a fit of rage accusing me of hiding something from him. Yelling and cussing me at the top of his lungs with the young kids in the back seat. I sobbed uncontrollably swearing up and down I wasn’t hiding anything. We got to the parking lot of the theatre but I couldn’t stop sobbing and we had to leave. We had to drop them back off at home without seeing the movie. I apologized to them and they quietly said it was ok. It’s been almost 20 years and I still feel sad and guilty about it.
Please please don’t do this to your kids. GTFO now.
Please call the police. Get a restraining order. And take your kids and leave.
You don’t deserve to be treated this way.
Divorce him and take the kids. He’s dangerous
Reading your post was like deja vu for me. The exact same thing happened with my ex. We were at a dinner and murder mystery show and he thought I was flirting with one of the other men there. I was not. He started screaming and yelling at me and dragged me to the car. When we got in the car to leave he drove for a few minutes screaming at the top of his lungs at me, calling me all kinds of names before pulling over, leaned completely over me, opened the passenger door and pushed me out of the car. He hit me when he drove off. I was 3 months pregnant with our son. He came back after I walked about a mile in heels. I didn’t want to get back in the car but I was well over an hour from home and he had my phone and my purse. Our relationship ended with him being arrested 3 times for DV and multiple charges. Unfortunately, I still have to deal with him every day of my life because of our son. My advice to you, leave. It will only get worse. I stayed for 6 more months and the abuse just escalated. I’m so sorry you had to go through this and in front of your children. My son was 6 months old the last time he put his hands on me and that was enough for a 3 year order of protection!
Has your husband always been a vile abusive controlling asshole or is this new? Either way, it’s extremely alarming. He yelled at you in public and in front of your children, insulted your intelligence, kicked you out of the car, and flippantly threatened to divorce you.
Neither you nor your kids need this shit.
Your marriage is over, you need to leave with the kids.
You didn’t do anything wrong but it’s time to show your kids that abuse isn’t something to put up with.
If he is willing to accuse you of such things he is either cheating himself or is very insecure. His behaviour was aggressive and controlling and will only spiral.
I hope you can find the strength to confide in family and friends of it is safe to do so and get the support to leave.
You don’t want this as an example of what a relationship should be. For the sake of your children, get out of this situation.
You’ve received some great advice here. I just wanted to add that if you know you’re going to leave, you may try to “grey rock” him. Act as boring and uninteresting as a grey rock. If he says something,agree. Don’t give him ammo. This may be hard, but it can minimize the chance of him harming you before you can leave.
Step 1: Stab him
Step 2: Hide the body. Usually bury it 6 feet deep but the deeper the better or you can take his teeth out and feed him to pigs as they eat everything but teeth.
Step 3: Divorce him and say that he disappeard, they’ll let you divorce him without him signing any papers
You receive: The kids, his house, his money, and freedom!
OK. His mask is slipping and his true personality is coming out.
Jealous, controlling, verbally abusive. Probably a narcisist. How are his hands? Still keeping to himself? Or is he already grabbing and shoving you, or worse?
Where were the kids when this happened? Are the kids his? Or yours from a previous partner?
Other people already pointed out this is abusive behaviour. If you accept that, you’re teaching your kids that his behaviour is acceptable. I don’t think you want that.
Find the strength to leave this guy. For your kids if you can’t do it for yourself. They deserve better. And so do you.
If you aren’t isolated and have access to a support network you can trust, let them know. If you don’t have one, reach out to a local women’s shelter for help and advice. Make sure you have an escape plan and leave as soon as you can with the kids and your important personal documents. Call a divorce lawyer once you’re safe.
So, he’s having an affair then?
PLEASE leave, take your kids, and don’t look back. I was the little kid in this same situation and was terrified. Decades later these memories are still burned into my brain. Often I wish my mom and I were able to leave far sooner than we did. For your sake and your kids, walk right away from this abusive POS.
Yes, it’s over and I’m sorry for that, but it is over. Don’t let him hold divorce over your head. Sometimes you have to jump before you’re pushed.