Since it’s summer break right now I don’t hang out as much with my friends compared to when you meet them everyday in school so I’ve been spening A LOT of time on a discord server. It’s really fun and I can actually say that I’ve made some real friends.
Anyway there’s this one guy that sort of hates me for no reason. He’s kinda toxic towards everyone but for some reason specifically towards me. I’ve asked why but he just ignores me so I have literally no idea tbh. Tells me to die, ignores everything I say and hates my opions etc. You would think this guy doesn’t get along with people but he’s actually a moderator and he’s friends with all the other ones which adds up to like 6 people.
​
It used to be just that guy but now the friends have caught on. I was talking to them just like an hour ago and they were basically just acting like him except for the death wishes and the really bad stuff. So basically I’m the punching bag for them now. And one of them even mentioned it in the call; “Why is Valley529 like the punching bag for this entire call haha” or something like that.
​
But like it didn’t really bother me that much. I mean these stuff happens and I’ve been online for quite a while so I know the rules (I hope). I can’t talk to them one by one like you would in real life. They would just spread it around the discord server. And it just calls more attention to it I think.
​
Anyway as I said it didn’t really bother me but then some time later a thing they said actually hurt quite a bit. As I mentioned they’re all mods and such but one of their friends is actually the owner btw he wasn’t in the call that time. So since they usually ban or mute us normal guys I quite often, maybe twice a week write to the owner asking if they could unban my friends. But I’ve talked to the guy and I realized that he’s actually a really nice fellow. Not at all like the others and it actually seems like he enjoys it when I’m online and in calls. I would consider us friends just not the ones you talk to that often or talk personal stuff with you know, just someone you like the company of.
​
Anyhow I randomly write to him sometimes when I need to and I never thought anything about it. But when the mods were joking about an hour ago one of them mentioned that the owner doesn’t even like me. His exact words were something like this; “Yeah \[Owner\] has been saying that you like try to force conversations with him and it weirds him out”. And I’m gonna be honest that hurt, it cut right through me man. For one of the nicest people in a toxic enviornment to feel weirded out when I write to him wasn’t fun to hear. And btw in my opinion I don’t even do that, I just write to him when I have a request and sometimes a small conversation starts. I never ask a hundred small question just a respons or anything like that. And when we’re in voice chat we talk a bit. But when that guy explained what I do it sounded like I’m a weird fan of a celebrity that forces conversations when taking a picture with them.
​
After I heard that I realized that it wasn’t okay for the other guys to be throwing me around like a punching bag. It’s weird, like I took no offence at all but when I heard something that hurt all the other stuff hurt too.
​
I just wanna mention that I don’t really know if that thing the mod said even was true. I tried to ask him but there was too many people in the call and I didn’t want to ask super loudly so everyone heard. So it could be fake but if it is then how does the guy even know that I write those things to the owner in the first place?
​
Yeah I don’t know what to do in this situation it’s kinda a hard one, atleast for me so yeah that’s why I asked for some opinions. And also I hope this submission counts as a socialskill or maybe it’ll get removes who knows.
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
3 comments
who are you
​
serious: tell him to shit himself all lowercase
How old are you? When people don’t have to worry about being punched in the face for saying horrible things they tend to get really brave at the computer saying awful things to people they don’t know.
It sounds like a schoolyard dynamic. When people bully you w words, you have to either show them you’re not affected and can give back if needed, or do nothing and let it slide off you.
I’d argue in your instance, complaining to the mods is akin to tattling on a bully. Things somehow go from bad to worse. It’s a weird, law of the jungle mechanism. I never liked it but people don’t give a crap about what I like.
There are a couple approaches you can take. One is to flip your perspective whereby you get a little satisfaction knowing you’re annoying the asshole of the group. You don’t need him to validate you or like you. Screw him. Let him stew in his misery.