This is just a rant. I’m sick of it all. I keep having these flings that I feel have so much potential and then they lead to nothing. My most recent “fling” happened last week. We matched on bumble, immediately caught each others attention which doesn’t happen often. He convinced me to come over and we had immediate emotional and physical chemistry. He seemed be very into me for a few days after that in which he called and texted frequently. Then like five days later he kinda just flipped a switch and started acting super nonchalant. We went on another movie date and afterwards he gave me the vibe that he thinks we went too quickly and then later sent me a text saying “I just would like to continue to kick it with you and grow. I don’t and won’t wanna date right off the bat. I want it to lead to that ideally with and through time.”
This seems great but he hasn’t responded or reached out since. I am probably overthinking and need to just live my own life but UGH can I just find someone who wants to get to know me as much as I want to get to know them? It’s so frustrating.
20 comments
Rants are good, go for it😂
Maybe he has his own stuff going on into his head or maybe he doesn’t wanna hurt you and say that he changed his mind. Could be everything.
Modern dating is a game of “I don’t want to seem too available” for fear that it’ll drive the other person away. Often both people have this mindset, you enter a stalemate, it ends, rinse and repeat. Right now, I fear that my fling will end because she’s stringing me along.
I feel your pain this dating environment sucks
On the flip side why is everyone in a fucking rush to get married and have 20 kids. You’ve known him 7 days and he just wants to get to know you not get handcuffed
It funny. I hear this same story from damn near every woman out there and you’re all making the same mistake. Women swipe on 5% of men on the apps and all of you are pretty much swiping on the same 5% of men. That man you want? There are 19 other girls who want him. Are you a better option for him than all the 19 other girls? Probably not but more to the point, is an exclusive relationship with you a better option to him than having sex with all 20 of you? Not a chance. Sexual quantity and variety matters to men in a way that they just don’t to women. Virtually no men will choose to give up sex with infinite women for the exclusive sexual access to any one woman.
If you want a committed relationship, you are going to have to stop picking men who are in the same 5% of men that all other women want. Those 5% men are an illusion. No woman can ever have them. They can sleep with him but they can never have them exclusively.
sadly that’s just how it goes with these things…guys can be jackasses and can’t be honest of whether they feel something changed or they wanted something else in offer.
Damn shame. I’d be down to give it a chance and be honest 🙂
He stopped seeing you before it turned into a relationship. There’s a reason for that. He could be scared of commitment.
Or he just wanted to hook-up but didn’t want to hurt your feelings so he pretended he need some space. Or maybe he didn’t want you to find out it was a hook-up so he could pretend he’s now ready to start dating some time later and use you again.
He’s not ready for a relationship. Maybe he doesn’t want a relationship. Maybe he just wants casual sex. But you didn’t want that. So he pretended he wanted a relationship.
Sad to hear that. Maybe he was not ready for it. Maybe you deserve something better. Stay positive 🙂
See this is why I refuse to date until I find my person. I wouldn’t want to waste both my and her time. I know what I want and refuse to date just for the experience.
That is just what dating is
We all try to get the we can to start a family
Many or rather most guys get almost no interest from women in their early to mid 20s
While women try their luck with guys that quickly lose interest and go from woman to woman
But as we near 30 realism start kicking in …Average guys discover that while dating is still hard it is no longer impossible
End of day most people pair up with someone and start a family.
Come kick it with me, everything else in the past.. Got pics
Things didn’t move too quickly. He could have said from the get-go that he wants to take things slow if he truly felt that way. He got what he wanted. I’m sorry that happened to you (and continues to) but move on. You don’t have to give everything right out of the gate. But, there is also nothing wrong if you choose to either. Maybe don’t move so fast next time and see if that goes differently for you?
You can’t really know when you’ll finally find your special person. It just happens sometimes. So never rush it just because you’re tired, try to feel the other person if you both feel the same way.
Lol these same small group of dudes are playing you women like fiddles, and you guys never learn. I’d do the same thing as them tbh, if I could
Edit: unless you look like Margot Robbie these guys are not committing to you, because they have so many options
I love the flings. I feel like when I find something worth chasing I’ll make my flings into loml or itll blossom into it. Who knows tho. Life isn’t b&w
I wish more people just said what they meant and meant what they said without all of the dumb mind games.
That’d make dating so much easier for everyone
I wish there was a rule that women who post stories like this post their and the guy that they matched with dating profiles. It would be interesting to see.
Oh my God. This is my post. Thank you so much for this. I wanted to post something like this today but I couldn’t find the words. I’m 42f and can find tons of guys for that fun “long term casual no commitment” bullshit, but no one who actually wants to be in a productive, thoughtful and deliberate relationship. Met an amazing guy the other night, chemistry off the charts and he just wants to focus on his career (I can’t fault him for this at all, that’s what I did for the first half of my life). This is all just so incredibly hard. I can accept it most days just fine, but on those very rare occasions where I find someone who I genuinely mutually connect with it just becomes heart wrenching.
It is difficult most of the time. My ex hid ever true self from me for years and a lot of other people. She had to switch churches, lost her best friend. The whole relationship turned out to be just a huge lie. So, ibfeel you on that.
My best advice if you are wanting to find your person is slow everything down with the people you are meeting. Specifically physically. Nowadays in this hookup culture, even if people are in the back of their mind “screening” for their person, when the physical aspect comes in really fast I believe we just unconsciously attribute that person to our “just a hookup” category.
I have intentionally taken sex off the table for myself and have decided that I will only have sex once I am in a committed relationship and it has allowed me to see way more clearly and the connection I am in now has been developing in a way that I wouldn’t have been able to perceive in the past. And because of how intense our connection is even without sex it makes me feel deeply that we are both spending time together because of how much we are into one another, not because we are just trying to experience some temporary pleasure.