I’m a woman who is interested in a guy I’ve known for about six months now. I’m incredibly shy and have social anxiety. He has told me he’s also shy. We’ve talked quite a bit (convos are usually about 5-15 minutes when we see each other in passing) and I believe there is mutual interest but I always get super nervous when we talk and I think he does too. I’ve been trying to get out of my comfort zone by smiling at him when I see him, and approaching him. A few times the anxiety has gotten the better of me and I’ve ignored him (it’s a defense mechanism because I start getting really nervous). He has actually done the same to me…I think we literally have the same personality. We have a ton of things in common and I’m super attracted to him. I just don’t know where to go from here because it’s like a standoff. I think he may have tried to create segues to hang out a few times, but never went through with it. Even though I’m 99 percent sure he likes me, I’m still afraid of rejection. We’ve had really great interactions lately, but things got a little awkward last week because I think it’s just obvious that the tension is there and we need to do something about it or move on.
I’m just looking for advice on what to do…
4 comments
Either you or him need to take make the bigger effort. If you made the effort to post this then you can most probably make the effort to show more interest.
I understand your situation but if you really want something in life you need to get out of you comfort zone and if you feel like you can’t do it then just give it time. If you guys like each other enough with time you’ll slowly get more comfortable around each other
You only live once! Y’all can’t stay in your little bubbles forever. Time to step up and go bowling or something! I’d say something along the lines of “I’m free this weekend, I have nothing to do.” Easy way to ask for a date without asking. Or you could ask. Up to you.
Being shy isn’t an excuse for inaction, it just makes it a bit harder mentally to act. If you want change, it is still best to take action yourself. Risking rejection is necessary for that.
I had a LTR with a shy partner – I am as well. It started out doing things with a larger group of friends which filled in the gaps nicely as we got to know each other. Playing pool, cards, board games. Any activity based outing helps take the pressure off of being worried about awkward silences.