Sorry if this is hard to follow but I met my friend maybe 4-5 months ago at the skatepark , we are both very passionate about skateboarding so when we met initially it was pretty easy to connect with her and I also felt attracted to her before we actually became friends. It sounds messed up but once I found out she was a single mother with two kids I lost all interest in her romantically. However, I still thought she was awesome so just being friends was easy for me. I don’t think anything is wrong with single moms I just personally don’t see myself being a father to anyone in my future.
Over the last few months we have been hanging out almost every weekend and it is almost always some sort of roadtrip to a skatepark, national park, or concert. She is going through some personal issues as well and doesn’t have very many friends to go to so I am always there to support her and be there to listen and give advice. Over time it got to the point where at night I will lie in bed and think how I could be more supportive to her and show her that things are not as bad as they seem. I think I conditioned myself to fall for her by being there for her so much and spending so much time with her. Plus it doesn’t help that we share the same passions and interests.
For some reason it still didn’t click to me that I was starting to develop feelings for her until about two weeks ago when after a night at the bar she came back to my house and we spent the night intimately cuddling. I don’t know why I thought that was a good idea but it felt really nice at the time so It was hard to not do it. It probably means nothing but she kept trying to be the little spoon and wrapped her legs around mine but she wasn’t trying to have sex or anything (in hindsight I am glad it didn’t happen). That was the moment I was like “oh fuck I actually really like this girl!”
Now I am starting to look at her in a different way and I don’t think it would be possible for me to continue a platonic friendship with her. I feel so bad for wanting to end things between us but I just don’t see it as wise to try to hide my feelings and act like I don’t care. I know it will probably blindside her but at the same time I think she is picking up on me liking her.
TLDR: How do I end the close friendship between my friend and I without being weird about it. Should I just stop making so many plans with her and withdraw? Or should I just send her a text telling her the situation of why I can’t continue being a close friend to her?