The things is I go to the strip club with him all the time, once in a blue moon after we arque he uses that as an excuse to disappear and go to the strip club with his buddy, he’s such a gaslighter because he lies then enough once he’s caught says well you pissed me off, my mind is blown I’m just getting so tired of it we been married for 15 years built an entire life together but I cannot continue to lie to mvself…. Is he cheating is he just a perv HELP!!!
31 comments
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If I understand correctly, you got married at 15? It seems very immature for him to go to the strip club after a fight just to get back at you. That’s a very unhealthy relationship. Arguments and fights will happen often in marriages and if either of you just do something to be petty and to “get back” at the other person then that is immature. Maybe therapy would help?
You can’t make him stop doing this or stop lying to you. You can only decide what your boundary is going to be – what is your response? Are you just going to stay and not like it/ not be happy or are you prepared to end the relationship over it? You have told him you don’t like it obviously, and he doesn’t seem to be willing to take what you want into account.
Give him an ultimatum, if it doesn’t stop, move on. Are you really ready to deal with this man child for the rest of your life
My eyes are burning reading this post.
Stop this shit with him now. Don’t go to the strip club to make him happy and be the “cool wife”. And you said you’re 30 but been married 15 years?? Um, tell me why. Also, if I married the boy I dated in high school I’d be miserable. It works for some – but those people are really good communicators and their asses aren’t hanging out at strip clubs, I guarantee it.
If this is your life all the time then I say divorce him. You’re 30, you have time to meet someone else. I married my husband when I was 29 and we’ve been together a decade. Don’t go to strip clubs with the next one.
It sounds like he is picking a fight to justify cheating and he does not want to be interrupted while cheating so he puts his phone on airline mode. I personally would not put up with that by staying with him. Some people prefer just to look the other way and let it go on. It is up to you what you want to do.
When he heads to the door turn off your location and leave. Spend the night at a friend’s or a hotel. See what he accuses you of and throw it back in his face. What’s good for the gander is good for the goise too.
What a fantastic story to tell your divorce lawyer. He’s a cheater. He’s off the grid for the Poonani. You need somebody that isn’t this full of shit. I was with a serial cheater that would do the same thing. Start a stupid argument over nothing, get all indignant and storm out of the house over nothing. Leaving me standing there going WTF ?
Why don’t you both go to church instead of the strip club. Maybe it would help your marriage.
It’s gonna be a hard pill to swallow. Rather he cheating or not. The DISRESPECT is loud and clear. It’s ok to let it go. It’s gonna hurt like hell, however you gotta do it. This sounds extremely unhealthy. Please stop doing this to yourself!!
He is cheating
Who cares? Leave either way. This is not healthy for you to be in.
Grow a backbone and get some therapy for your lack of self esteem because a healthy person wouldn’t put up with this shit for friggen 15 years 🤦♀️
Get a postnuptial agreement.
Explain to him he’s spending martial funds on strippers and that’s not ok.
Your husband is an ass. But honestly, you’ve enabling this behavior by sitting by while he’s done this for years. Let him come home to an empty house. If my husband did that, I book myself a room, with scheduled spa treatments at the Four Seasons, and I would put it all on his card. Because play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
What the heck. Why would you go to strip club with him.. he’s being an immature jerk stomping out and turning phone in airplane mode and go to club. Y’all been married to dang long for childish behavior.
Personally I would be stomping out on my own and turning phone off. He wants to play well let’s play..
Why would you want a marriage like this.. y’all need to have a honest conversation to discuss do and donts y’all will accept; Otherwise move on. Life is too short for these mental games
He’s cheating on you
He is like Peter Pan, never grow up!
I believe looking at naked women for sexual thrills IRL is cheating, and it’s the greatest fucking scam men ever ran that society generally thinks we are somehow supposed to be cool with it.
So I would be hurt and considering my next steps.
If my husband saw me with some undressed man slinging his crotch around in my face, rubbing up on me, he would have an issue with it. So explain to me why strip clubs are so widely accepted as completely normal behavior for attached men (or women). A woman is grinding her ass on someone’s lap. That is not innocent entertainment?
100% this. If the exchange of money is what changes things, why would hiring a sex worker for intercourse be any different? Monogamy is monogamy.
Separate. If he doesn’t change or show effort, file for divorce. He should be more mature by now.
Yes he’s cheating. Now what?
No excuse…but he is a pervert! It’s not unusual for a man his age, to get his jollies by looking and ogling young attractive females…either on porn sites, magazines..or in his case strip joints.
The fact that you condoned this behaviour originally…now gives you a dilemma if you no longer approve of it!
Time for a cards on the table ultimate discussion with him..you no longer are comfortable with it! He seeks counselling or help and stops it …and if he won’t ..then it’s your way or the highway..sorry, but you will need to employ tough love. You will have at least warned him, if the marriage comes crashing down around his ears. Good luck to you both.
Intentionally making an argument to disappear is textbook gaslighting. I’m sorry you married a manipulative child. Tell him to shape up or ship out. All you can really do. Unfortunately you’re probably not gonna win this one. He’s going to likely continue doing what he is but you’ve given him enough chances and have gotten walked on for it.
He doesn’t have to be cheating to want to go to a strip club without you. But you’re married to him. I would think he’d rather want to watch you strip for him instead of a stranger.
Are you cool with him going to the strip club? If yes, why doesn’t he just ask? I really think people get married and then become obsessed with having “married life” problems. This sounds like some Seth Rogan/ Jonah Hill 2000s rom-com scenario. He’s your husband, not your son there’s no reason for you to put up with childish antics like this.
You misspelled ex husband.
Let’s be honest here, he will keep doing it as long as he gets away with it…
Wtf are you still doing with this child ?
Here is the help and advice you asked for from a married 33 year old lady :
✨Leave the piece of shit ✨You’re welcome🙏
Of you go too does that make you a perv as well?
Why as a man does he feel the need yo lie about anything? Is this a new trait of his?
Have you both gone to therapy individually and as a couple?
He’s not gonna change.