Advice on husband making miscarriage jokes

3yrs ago I married my husband when we found out I was 4m pregnant. His mother always seemed friendly and I thought she was cool until she started to get weird when she found out I was pregnant. She made a big deal about helping with the baby, getting stuff, and made us change the date of the baby shower twice just to fit around her schedule and still never showed. Only his sister and my BFF came from his side of the family. Fast forward to the birth. His mom starting throwing a fit outside because she wasn’t allowed in the room as I was giving birth and then just left the hospital before the baby was born. After I came home it was rough and I was home alone with the baby when my husband left his phone at home and I saw it start lighting up with messages from his mom. I opened the phone and that’s when I see the messages. She’s cursing at him for being ungrateful for not letting her in the room. He told her that he couldn’t control who comes and goes out of the room and that she could’ve stayed after the birth to come in and see the baby, but she immediately turned the conversation around and about how it was so hard for her as a single mother and that all he’s doing is spitting in her face and that I was stopping her from seeing her first grandchild. I immediately felt disgusted and checked the other messages and saw she was complaining about me since my 2ed trimester because I told them I didn’t want second hand stuff for my newborn as their immune system is dangerously low and everything they showed me had mold on it from the barn they kept it in. I said nothing about the messages to my husband in case they picked up, I wanted to know more. Enter one night he’s outside with his friends and leaves his phone in the bathroom where I’m doing laundry. I saw the phone and immediately went to the messages between his mother who still hadn’t came over to see the baby because she didn’t know that I already knew she was back on meth and wasn’t letting my baby go over to her house. She was calling me a slew of names and how she wants him to bring me over so we could fight, but what really broke my heart was the LOL my husband sent back about it. He also said that I just need something to bitch about. I confronted him about it the next day and he folded and didn’t say anything to me for a few days like he was the one that deserved to be angry. To kick me while I was down, he told his mom and she stabbed me in the back by taking my child’s photos and posted them all over FB. She knew I didn’t want any of his photos online so I hadn’t even been able to post about him. I know it sounds stupid, but it felt like she took something from me that only a parent should be able to do and I was angry. This is where I may be an asshole in my MILs opinion. I starting lighting her shit up and telling everyone on her page how she sent those messages to me and now posted my child without my consent. She immediately deleted my posts and texted me with really angry messages I still have saved and I shut that shit down. She yelled at me that I’m disrespectful and shouldve sent her a message about it online instead of making it public. She hasn’t been by since (about a year) and my husband recanted everything and said he knew it was wrong. I let it slide because I was so drained and depressed anyway. Now I’m pregnant again and he promised when we were trying to conceive that he’d stop smoking weed, so I wouldn’t have to be alone this time to make up for the previous pregnancy. He had bought some before we found out, so I told him go ahead and smoke it since you just bought it, but when he shouldve ran out he somehow got more? Now he’s getting upset because I keep asking him where hes getting it and why he hasn’t stopped. I told him “you promised me”, and he said “no I didn’t promise I said I could stop, but I’m not going to.” That was yesterday and now idk what to do. I fear were running into the same course from before, so I brought it up again today and he got very angry with me. He even made a few jokes about me having a miscarriage and how it would “stop this argument.” I got so upset I canted to cry and scream, but I’m not a publicly emotional person even in front of my partner and didn’t want him to have the satisfaction, so I asked him why he would even want to have another baby if he was going to joke about something like that. He told me he never wanted a second child, but I just seemed so excited about it. I honestly had no idea what to say and still don’t. I have no idea what to do. Should I just let him smoke, so it’s not such a big deal? I’m not sure if I want a divorce, but I do know I want him to listen to me and do what he says he will do. Maybe I’m just hormonal and making a mountain out of a molehill, but I’m sure yall will tell me. Thank you for your time reading this and any answers you may be able to provide.