After about 7 months of dating, I simply just brought up the idea of a prenup and just put it on the table to get our thoughts on it. My partner at the time was okay with it but a week later they were very adamant that they would not sign one and that it was wrong as we would be adding negativity into our partnership as it brings in the possibility of separation and that it never crossed their mind. They are upset it was brought up as it hurt them. They said they have no intention to even ever think about such things and that they would never use me for my assets.
my parents worked very hard to bring us to where we are so I wanted to offer it as a protection for them as well.
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thoughts?
22 comments
If you’re coming into a marriage with any level of wealth, then a prenup is an absolute necessity. I learned this the hard way.
While I understand the emotional side of this, especially in younger people, I also see the hypocrisy in her statement. If she has no intent in going after your pre-marital assets, then she should have no issue signing a document to that extent.
My 5 year marriage (one that I thought would never end, btw) cost me over $200k in cash and assets, thousands of dollars in alimony, and 13 years of child support in an amount that is staggering. I’m happy to support my son, but the rest was pure loss to me. All to a woman who swore that she wasn’t “like that”. Here’s the catch: you’ll never know if any spouse, man or woman, is “like that” until the moment arrives. Divorce changes people.
My wife and I entered our second marriage with significant assets, real properties, some liabilities and both pay spousal support. We have a prenuptial agreement.
The vast majority of the work is done by the attorneys for both parties. If you let them do their job, it shouldn’t be an emotional affair.
Nobody goes into a marriage thinking they will get divorced.
I read that more than 50% of marriages fail.
I have significantly more assets than my SO, so a prenuptial is a non-negotiable, deal breaker for me.
I’d rather be alone and wealthy than alone and broke.
My wife brought it up to protect me and I told her there was no chance I’d get married if I thought that was important. Instead, I put her on equal access to everything the day we got married and never looked back. It’s been 11 years, 0 regrets.
Make a sole living trust. Put your assets into the trust. Never, never mix funds. Do not use a dime of communal money to support the assets in your trust. Communicate this to her.
After 10 to 30 years of marriage, you might change your mind and add her to the Trust.
Don’t marry anyone without a prenup. Marriages go bad all the time.
No prenup, no marriage. Any decent contract will have an exit clause, which provides a structured, predetermined way for the parties to dissolve the agreement and sets the terms of that dissolution. Without a prenup, the state decides what those terms will be–and depending on what each of you bring to the marriage, the results could be devastating for one of you.
Don’t bend on this. In fact I would say it’s a huge waving red flag that she doesn’t want to ensure that you’re both treated fairly in case of divorce. You might need to reconsider the relationship entirely.
It sounds like you shouldn’t be getting married. Marriage is a business and you have to treat it as such bad pray the love remains the same.
If the prenup is equally fair to both parties there is no issue. That said, you do have to at least consider her culture. Her culture is part of her just as your culture is part of her. Neither is right or wrong. So keep discussing with emphasis on understanding her perspective and ensuring it benefits both of you .
My significant other has more assets and wealth than me and I’m the one who brought up the idea of a prenup. It’s a level of protection for both parties because at the end of the day you never know.
A friend of mine’s husband suffered some brain damage from an accident and while physically he healed, he did not heal mentally. He became extremely abusive and down right evil. A man that never would’ve hurt a fly but just got hit in the wrong spot. That may be an extreme case but you really never know
Get a new partner!
Dont be fooled by that trust and love sob story ruse. Anyone who does not want to sign is a pending leech !
I would not marry her unless this is resolved. And resolved means that you both agree on the details of a prenup.
If she doesn’t want to consider divorce, then the pre-nump will just be a wasted piece of paper that never gets dusted off. She literally shouldn’t care if she says she would never get divorced.
The fact that she doesnt want to sign is proof that she knows full well the marriage could end and she wants the opportunity to get some of those assets.
Tell her she gets a lawyer to help her understand the contract/negotiates terms and signs, or you two are done.
You’ve brought it up. It’s a deal breaker for your partner. If your partner not signing it is a deal breaker for you, there’s your answer. Break up and find someone who will agree to it and let your partner find someone they are compatible with.
Personally I wouldn’t sign one either . It’s antithetical to my view of marriage.
Nah.
Time to leave him/her and let her find someone dumb enough to go into a marriage blind (financially).
If your a man:
Nearly 70 percent of divorces are initiated by the wife. In addition, over 50% of divorced wives never want to remarry while only about 30% of men express that same sentiment. Seeing as most divorces are initiated by women, men can use this statistic to make sure they are being mindful of their wives’ needs and wants.
Non negotiable. Period. Not only will you end up regretting not signing one, it could destroy you. NON-NEGOTIABLE.
You don’t buy insurance with the intent that the house will burn down. You buy it in case it does.
By the same rationale: does he believe in having a will? A medical power of attorney? A living will? All of those reflect that some bad may happen.
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Also: I wonder if he has any idea how much it would cost to litigate a property division upon divorce.
To some people it’s a deal breaker, and that’s ok. A prenup is antithetical to some people’s ideas of marriage, and in most places there are laws already in place to protect a fair division of assets in the event of a divorce. Also, a lot of prenups aren’t enforceable because they’re signed under duress or for other reasons. In some places you can’t go against established laws. If you’re insistent on a prenup and she’s insistent on no prenup, you aren’t compatible and should break up. But also, it’s been 7 months, it’s too soon for you to be thinking about marriage anyway.
Prenups are only necessary for people who don’t see marriage as forever. Your girlfriend has a right to feel hurt that you want one. Marriage takes trust and commitment and a prenup is advanced planning for both of those qualities to fail or be absent in one or both of you. I wouldn’t marry anyone that I wasn’t certain was aligned with me on this.
She’s after your money like the avg Indian girl
Don’t put Indian women on a pedestal
As an Indian guy they are just interested in your money and stability
But their true love is white men
Break up if she doesn’t sign a prenup
I look at the comment section and all I see is advice and opinions from people who failed in their marriages. Why would you solicit advice on how to have a good marriage from people who have proven they don’t know?
I would never try to model my relationship off 100 failed marriages from faceless strangers on the internet.