Earlier today me and my boyfriend went to an annual amusement park in our city that has high security. My boyfriend carries a knife on him for protection as well as to help him out at work, and forgot to leave it in his car.
We get to the gates and they got metal detectors, cops everywhere and people checking bags like it’s an airport. There’s been a history of violent fights because it draws such a large crowd so they check people down like crazy before entry.
The security guard scans my boyfriend with a metal detector and my boyfriend told him he carries a knife on him for work. Then the security guard was like “nah you guys can’t enter with that”, that’s when this other female security guard came up to us doing the absolute most saying things like “you gotta go” “where did you park” “we got cameras we’ll be watching you” as if my boyfriend was about to stab someone right then and there. My boyfriend decided to tell the lady off as we turn around to leave.
As we keep walking the lady goes closer to the fence to watch us and keep telling us there’s cameras and my bf was like “fuck off don’t fucking talk to me” gives her the finger and making a scene. I then told him “babe chill out we’re going anyway so let’s not get into more shit” then he goes off on me saying “stop being a pussy what are they gonna do”
I was pissed off and embarrassed. I’m trying to calm him down so he and I don’t get fucking tackled by a cop or arrested over bullshit (especially since we’re both POC) and he decides to turn around and tell ME off?
He then tries to hug me as we’re walking back to his car saying “I’m sorry babe” but I was too annoyed. I didn’t speak to him at all for the whole ride back and I haven’t texted him the whole day.
Honestly the whole situation really pissed me off. Is it wrong that I’m reconsidering whether I want to be with him anymore? I really did not like the way he conducted himself and I feel like it’s changed the way I see him.
36 comments
Security was doing their job and warning him that they will keep an eye on him due to recent events. It sounds like that bruised his macho man ego and decided to pick a fight.
I think it was just heat of the moment and he wanted your support, so he blurred it out in anger. Talk toh him about it, as I can see he apologized later.
If his actions are not always aggresive, or using abusive words towards you then it’s better you talk about it and get it cleared.
I think it was just anger and frustration of that moment. Talk to him about it.
POC + any security/cops etc is a sore spot for good reason. I’d be worried if he did the behaviour constantly, so (maybe) this is a one off thing
TBH, I am concerned about this incident, but also your age-gap. He’s 11 years older than you and reacts like an undisciplined kid.
Tell him that he needs some counseling before you’d reconsider a relationship. I hope everything goes well for you.
He sounds a bit immature, got embarrassed, and handled it poorly (out of embarrassment). What he said to you was super immature as well. Sounds like you worked it out but definitely be mindful of a potentially recurring theme.
Not only is it not wrong for you to be reconsidering your relationship, but if you were a friend of mine I’d be doing whatever I could to get you away from this guy. He very obviously has anger and insecurity issues, to say nothing of his obvious juvenile wanting for others to see him as some kind of real bad-ass. You deserve a man whose conduct wouldn’t ever – EVER – embarrass you.
His behavior is definitely concerning, especially that you both are POC. He isn’t really talking yours or his safety into consideration, which is funny ( and cringy) because this whole scene was over him carrying a knife. But, I’d definitely reconsider the relationship, or at least be on the lookout for other red flags. Good luck!
Ok. There’s enough blame here to go around to everybody involved, including the security officer who did not use deescalation protocol. Let’s everyone just slow down & take a deep breath & let this one go.
He has got a temper. Does he always get his way? Or when he doesn’t he is mad? Just be very aware of this because now you are just dating in the future it could me more and you are stuck with him.
Anyone who carries a knife ‘for protection’ is going to get stabbed with their own knife. Unless he’s ex SAS or something.
Your boyfriend has anger issues. Not sure what advice you’re looking for. If you want to break up and find someone less volatile or less of a jerk, go for it.
If you want to stay and wait for him to mature, go for it.
It’s all up to you. You have the power to make the choice you want to make.
Nobody needs to carry a “hidden’ knife for work. WTF????
If he needs a knife so often he kneeds to carry its on a belt. He’s too old for you and that shit and put you at risk of escalation.
lol I died of cringe reading. This is some high school tough guy posturing, what’s worse is he is 37. Straight goofy.
Major major red flags there. It’s his error (carrying a knife into security) but that was minor, no big deal, everyone will forget it. Getting mouthy over it is ridiculous. Immaturity and lack of control, a man like that is immature if he does it at age 20. At age 37, I don’t know what to tell you. He should’ve learned this lesson a LONG time ago, but here you are. I’m sorry.
It’s completely okay to keep a knife on you for self defence purposes, but this guy seems to be so volatile. If I needed to be in the company of such an aggressive person, who even carries a weapon, I’d be worried too.
This is exactly why he dates younger women, because he’s a fucking child and women in their 30s won’t touch him.
These kind of things are why dating for a long time before you marry is important … so you can see how he behaves in various situations.
The people who torpedoed their lives are the ones who ignored what they learned.
Part of why I fell in love with my husband is that I found him to be calm under extreme provocation – and that’s damn sexy when you’re looking for a life partner and father of your kids.
As a POC you already live a life of higher risk than many people, and choosing a mate who antagonizes people when he’s angry or embarrassed just makes your life higher risk.
Sorry is all well and good, but it doesn’t change who he is.
I’m embarrassed with stuff like that in these situations it’s best not to talk and walk off. To me in the uk most council estates people are like that swearing and cursing like they are gonna get into a fist fight
He was humiliated and went into petulance. He probably knows he shouldn’t have had the knife on him and is blaming himself which turned into shame which turned into anger
The female security guard made it worse than it had to be. That’s what really caused the reaction
He apologized when he calmed down. That’s key
You are upset because he cracked under pressure. Women like to see men can keep their heads under pressure otherwise they’re dating a “child” they have to “mother”
But this was an extreme case
Sit with it. Give it a few days. He DID apologize to you. But yeah he can act like this. You’ve seen it. And he called you a pussy which waa bullshit.
You’re thinking – is this who I’m dating? A man that turns into a 13ye old when authourity comes and asserts itself over him?
Ah yes carrying a knife for protection like going to just haul off and stab someone, how this guy make it to almost 40 with this mindset. All he had to do was say my bad let me go chuck this in the car instead he chose to get confrontational even if security was out of line and they probably weren’t given they discovered a weapon, he wasn’t going to gain anything from picking a fight with them. Age gap nuff said here
Who needs a knife for work? What is he, a chef?
No offence, but he sounds like an idiot. Why would you get all the way to the front of the line with a knife on you?
Wow, he’s nearly forty. Girl, what are you doing?
yeah reading this gave me the ick too girl he’s 37…and he doing all that? too grown to be acting like this i’m embarassed of him too
He sounds like a terrible human overall. Please dump him
He goes off on you and says stop being a pussy???
Whaaa????
Do you really want to date someone who has so much pride that he puts you in danger?
Sometimes we humans get out of character. It’s the after that matters, which it sounds like he apologized.
If you don’t want to be with someone that acts this way sometimes then leave him, if it’s something you can handle stay 🤷♀️ really not much to say here
Omg this is so cringe, he sounds like such a massive tool 🤣
Theres a reason why hes not dating a woman his age…. just saying….
Your boyfriend stopped maturing at 17. He may be 37 now but in his mind he’s still a petulant teen. Decide if that’s what you want for yourself.
Sounds like he wasn’t wrong and was leaving the park as requested. The security was being obnoxious so he gave them shit back.
You sound overly sensitive to me. That fear you were displaying would be annoying as well.
Maybe you two aren’t compatible. But he’s not a monster.
He’s 11 years older than you and picks fights with strangers, and this feels like a relationship you want to stick with? Dang dude.
He’s not 17. At 37 he should have handled himself much, much better
That is some odd behavior from a 37 year old man. He didn’t know that most places won’t let you carry a knife?
Also it is illegal in most the US to use a knife for self defense.
Deeply reconsider this relationship. I’m a man, I have a temper, I’ve done embarrassing things.
The real red flag isn’t that he got mad at security.
The red flag is that his temper spread to you and turned into some verbal shots at you.
It’s annoying enough to deal with someone who has a temper, but potentially dangerous when that angry person can’t keep it contained to the things that pissed them off in the first place.
Your boyfriend is going to get you killed. Whether it’s some random guy in the street, a cop, or he may even do it himself. People who carry knives like that, do so because there want to use them. Just like those idiots who carry large guns when they go to buy coffee.
He’s an immature guy with anger issues, dating someone way too young for him. He is stupid enough to think he could protect himself with a knife and starts fights with people, making it all the more likely the knife will be used. Then takes it out on you when you very reasonably try to defuse the situation.
He’s dangerous. You deserve to be with a grown up who respects you and isn’t a risk to your life.
He’s 37 acting like a 15 yr old. Why are you more mature then he is at 11 yrs younger?
Why is he dating around at age 37? What stopped him from entering a relationship in his youth? Is he divorced? The women his age who dated him in the past probably can’t stand him and that’s why he’s dating you.