My girlfriend (24f) and I (27m) can’t seem to communicate effectively, how can I do better?

I love my girlfriend and she says she loves me. We have been dating for the better half of a year. I just can never communicate with her effectively without her getting defensive anymore. If I press she blames past ‘trauma’. It was fine when it came up around certain subjects but now it is her go to excuse. It no longer was avoid this subjects, it was I can’t have a thought.

I am at the point where I just don’t want to speak when asked questions because if I say yes, then I’m sarcastic. If I don’t say yes quick enough then I had to think about it to long. If I disagree then I’m wrong and get lectured on why I’m wrong. Now if there is a question relative to ant subject thay I feel will lead to me being lectured on why I’m a terrible person. Then I just don’t answer. Which is also not healthy for a relationship. But honestly her being mad because I’m not talking is 10x better because then I’m not being scolded for something.

I was single for so long before her and my family loves her. I want to make it work. And I like loud confident women. But it’s no longer loud and confident.

This will sound weird but lately our loving moments feel more loving but it’s just gotten worse.

I can’t get time to myself, and when I try it’s because “I don’t want to be around her”. I’ve tried explaining I like time to myself. It’s not about her, I just can’t mindlessly do something. I don’t enjoy just watching TV. Sure I play video games in my free time, but I also do other stuff mixed in. All of which I no longer have time for due to new job and an inability to say anything she doesn’t like without being an asshole.

I’ve been thinking about it the last two weeks. Do I want to break up with her? No. I do love her. Do I want to make it work? Yes. Why? Because when we aren’t arguing I love the way she laughs. I like how she freaks out with joy when she sees any animal. And all the little things she does. I don’t want yall to think it’s constant scolding after scolding. And I’m definitely not helping the situation.

But how do I go about getting out of my silent rut, because sure it feel better in the moment then arguing. In the long run it isn’t healthy. And I definitely can’t do that for the rest of my life.